Love to see Michael Jordan face Kobe Bryant

Sun, Oct 17

You're only 47, MJ. Why are you acting like Uncle Rico from "Napoleon Dynamite?" You saying you could score 100 points in today's NBA is like Uncle Rico reminiscing about his high school football heyday, telling Kip, "Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I'd take state." No, Uncle Rico, you wouldn't. And, no, Your Greatness, you wouldn't drop 100 even though Joe Dumars handchecking is no longer allowed. It's possible that, in your heyday, you might not have even been able to best Kobe Bryant's 81.

Ah, Kobe. You slipped that old man haterade by us real slick. When asked about Kobe's greatness legacy, MJ mulled over his successor's resume and credentials and came to the conclusion that, "If you are talking about guards, I would say he has got to be in the top 10." Ya think? Just top 10 though, huh? Couldn't narrow that down? There aren't five greater guards than Kobe. MJ knows that, we all know that. That was a Mercury Morris move, MJ. The way things are going, next June, when Kobe is going for his MJ-tying sixth ring, we might see MJ pop up on ESPN spouting anti Kobe raps … in a Kangol, of course.

MJ is too young and too cool to be acting like a dismissive has-been or the cantankerous Carl Fredrickson from "Up." The only rational explanation is that -- as he alluded to in some of his pre-Hall of Fame statements -- he still thinks he can whip up on these young scrubs littering his league. If he thinks he could drop 100 in his prime, he probably thinks he can hang a consistent 20 right now. We might have a Larry Holmes come back in the works. He bought a condo right near the arena. Maybe he has plans to trade in his creased, dry-cleaned jeans for some shorts. Maybe that's why he signed Kwame Brown. Nothing like a whipping boy to work off the rust.