Ashton Kutcher's ranking in recruiting violations

Mon, Nov 1

Heads up: Loving Ashton Kutcher is, in fact, a crime. At least to the NCAA. According to reports, the University of Iowa violated recruiting rules by allowing a pair of basketball recruits to meet Kutcher and wife Demi Moore -- both celebrity Hawkeyes fans -- during a September football game between Iowa and Iowa State.

The NCAA said on Monday that the actions were unintentional and accidental, and that the school will not be penalized.

Stephen/Icon SMIIf loving Ashton Kutcher is wrong, well, Iowa doesn't want to be right.

Question is: Did the secondary recruiting violation help Iowa's cause? Was it worth the potential punishment?

To sort out the matter, Page 2 presents our early season college sports illegal recruiting inducement rankings:

1. Overnight mail envelope stuffed with greenbacks

2. Associate head-coaching gig for uncle/AAU coach

3. "He Got Game"-style campus visits

4. Late-model luxury SUV leased in cousin of booster's name

5. Rims! (And/or a tractor)

6. Cross-country relocation and job for parent at booster-owned bank

17. Party at Bruce Pearl's house

25. Make-work position at local car dealership

48. Guaranteed playing time until we recruit someone better

106. Flattering text message No. 5,952 from Kelvin Sampson

244. Vigilant protection from evil, evil sports agents

525. Opportunity to meet Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore

Also receiving votes: Unauthorized visits to campus library, telephone calling cards, sideline high-fives from Matthew McConaughey.