What 2011 babies will never know in sports

Sun, Jan 9

A new year means new hopes, new resolutions and new reasons for sports fans to feel totally old -- namely, a whole bunch of forthcoming babies who will never know the blurry joy of low-definition football broadcasts.

Or the shopping simplicity of your favorite team having only two jerseys, home and away.

Or the obsessive-compulsive agony of having to edit your own sports video game rosters, because a virtual army of file-sharing Internet nerds isn't out there making sure Kobe Bryant's shoes are the right color.

What other athletic things will people born in 2011 never know of? Page 2 presents an incomplete list:

Landon Donovan
AP Photo/Lori SheplerThose born in 2011 will never know of soccer's dark history as a niche sport.

• Being unable to watch or follow a game because you're at a wedding or church or something;

• Having more than one licensed sports video game per sport to choose from;

• Thinking it's tough and manly to shake off a concussion and get back out there right away;

• Being kind of dorky and out of touch because you play fantasy sports, and not the other way around;

• Relying on network instant replay instead of just using your own DVR;

• Presumed steroid innocence;

• Blissfully having no idea what your favorite athlete looks like sans underpants;

• Soccer as an exotic, niche, vaguely un-American sport;

• Believing that clutch hitting is, in fact, real;

• Cornrows and teal;

• College sports amateurism, not a complete and obvious sham;

• USA basketball as a gold medal sure thing;

• The BCS (let's hope).