Is Randy Moss trying to pull an Indiana Jones?

Tue, Mar 6

Memo to NFL fans doubting on Randy Moss passing his audition for a New Orleans Saints wide receiving job at age 35:

Enjoy his 2012 season the same way you enjoyed the fourth Indiana Jones movie.

Harrison Ford
Toshifumi Kitamura/AFP/Getty Images"Hey, Randy Moss, you wanna go on a jeep chase with ol' Indy?"

What? You hated that movie? True, 2008's "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" had a ludicrous plot with interdimensional aliens that made as much sense as the 2010 Tennessee Titans claiming Randy Moss off waivers (OK, bad example). But "Crystal Skull" wasn't intended to be enjoyed as a genuinely exciting action movie.

Think: When George Lucas and Steven Spielberg created 1981's "Raiders of the Lost Ark," they did not say: "This would be great! An action flick about a 65-year-old dude hunting for lost artifacts in the late 1950s!" They said, "An action movie about a guy in his 30s who hunts for lost artifacts in the early 1930s would be one of the greatest movies of all time."

In his original form, Indy is iconic. In his initial career, Moss was a six-time Pro Bowler and one of the greatest receivers of his era.

When it was decided that leaving Indy in retirement was no fun, they gave it another go and concessions were made. Whereas Indy once ran through the jungle, it became jeep chases. Shia LaBeouf was tested as the younger sidekick to whom a torch could be passed.

Isn't that where we are with Moss? He wants one last quest for a shiny trophy that will end up in a museum. Louisiana is not too far from Florida, where he can see his torch passed to daughter Sydney Moss, who's about to start playing basketball for the Gators (and we're betting she can definitely beat up Shia LaBeouf in a fistfight while Marion Ravenwood's bar burns down around them).

Maybe Randy Moss would be better off staying home and wearing his old Oakland Raiders uniform and blasting John Williams' "Raiders March" over the stereo.

But don't say Moss doesn't have any years left to be effective. As Indy himself once said while getting patched up:

"It's not the years, it's the mileage."