Relentless as the Tim Tebow coverage has been, there are still many stupid but important questions to be answered. Is he secretly engaged to Taylor Swift? Does he realize how close his name is to being an anagram for bowtie? Which "Star Wars" character does he identify with most? Is there any possible chance that he's actually a horse?
To answer that last question: sort of. According to The Jockey Club, there are at least six equine minions bearing the quarterback's surname, including Tebow Go, Tebow Gator, Tebow Time, Tebow's Big Play, Tebowing and Tebowmania. If you want a thoroughbred capable of delivering last-minute heroics, I suppose a Tebow-based moniker is appropriate. But it's boring. A truly special horse shouldn't have the same name as five others.
Luckily, there are, like, a million other NFL players to name horses after, and in the interest of diversifying America's thoroughbred naming registries we've compiled a short list of alternatives. Have at 'em:
Shannon Sharpe Wearing A Saddle
Feel free to leave your own suggestions in the comments.
Matt Conner contributed to this article.