New Patriots will be fun to watch
"Chaos." That's the best word for it.
So said New York Jets fullback Tony Richardson about the week that just was in the NFL. No offense, Tony, but you don't know "chaos" until you've seen my checking account. Still, wildest thing about the week was when the New England Patriots adopted a slight revision of the "Cops" theme song:
"Bad boys, bad boys
Whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do
When the Patriots come for you?"
Last we checked, the Patriots signed troubled Chad Ochocinco and really troubled Albert Haynesworth before also picking up LeBron James, Tiger Woods, Roger Clemens, Lance Armstrong and that Weiner guy. Not sure how many games they will win but they sure will know how to party.
Before we get to the main dishes in this end-of-July Brunch, a few more tidbits from the week.
• Sticking with the NFL, did you see that the Green Bay Packers made money during the lockout? In a joint response, the NBA owners asked: "How did they do that?"
• And while teams like the Patriots and Packers are thinking about victories, Jacksonville Mayor Alvin Brown led the following chant before the Jaguars first practice: "No-black-outs! No-black-outs!" It's all about priorities.
• Apparently Bears QB Jay Cutler has ended his engagement with Kristin Cavallari. The Bears immediately asked him to report for an eye exam.
• Hey, PGA Tour. You want to give us what we want? Then pair Tiger Woods with Adam Scott -- and their caddies -- every Thursday and Friday that both golfers are in the field.
• Don't dismiss the UFL's regular season even if it only has two teams. There's still home field to fight for in the playoffs.
• Jay Leno has our final bit of tid: "When he heard the NFL lockout had ended, Plaxico Burress said, 'Does this mean I have to back to prison?'"
And now to the tasty main dishes in today's Brunch:
• Is there anywhere in the U.S. of A. that the NFL isn't king? Ron Kantowski of the Las Vegas Review-Journal travels to Four Corners -- where Colorado, Arizona, Utah and New Mexico meet -- to find out if they love them some NFL there. His report is fun and fascinating. Read it here.
• In case you've forgotten, the collegiate semi-pros are gearing up for some football, too. The Los Angeles Times provides a series of charts comparing the major conferences in the size of their audiences and the size of their TV deals. Trust us, size does count. Read it here.
• Remember baseball? No sport loves its memorabilia more than baseball, which suggests no sport is as ripe for collectible corruption. Peter J. Nash and Brad Hamilton of the New York Post have compiled an incredible account of the collectible career of the late Barry Halper, who did have a wing in the Hall of Fame named after him. Not any more. Read it here.
• Back to the NFL -- if you're convinced Cincinnati is part of the NFL, Paul Daugherty of the Cincinnati Enquirer looks at "The Brown Family" and suggests that it would be so easy to bring a little happiness, if not success, to the Bengal Family. Read it here.
• Speaking of happiness -- or the lack thereof -- Greg Cote of the Miami Herald has devised his own system to rank the top 25 most miserable franchises in our major pro sports. Are the Bengals more miserable than the Browns? Are the Cubs still the kings of misery? What about the Lions? Read it here.
Enjoy the end of July and get ready for August, which is going to be chock full of football. The perfect kind of Brunch and the perfect kind of month. Enjoy.