Clues your team wants Andrew Luck
Poor Andrew Luck.
"What?" you say. "How is it possible to feel sorry for a young man who is considered an absolute lock to be the first player selected in the next NFL draft?"
But that's what we're talking about. Barring some amazing trade, Luck appears to be on his way to either the Miami Dolphins, St. Louis Rams or Indianapolis Colts -- three winless and, uh, luckless teams. Unless, of course, he avoids that fate by either staying at Stanford for his final year of eligibility or forgetting football and giving bowling a try.
So it remains to be seen if Luck will go willingly to one of the teams that desperately need him. Meanwhile the conspiracists continue to speculate that some of these teams may be in the Andrew Luck sweepstakes, more crudely known as playing the "Suck for Luck" game.
Which leads us to this week's reader-generated list, "Top 10 Clues You're In the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes." Many of you have embraced failure if it means your favorite team can land Luck. As Marshall W. of Port Orange, Fla., said: "As a Florida native and Dolphins fan, I am rooting for the Defeated Season."
Some of you even feel left out, such as Bruce L. from Washington State U., who wrote: "Our quarterback is still named Alex Smith. Oh wait, we're actually 5-1? Never mind."
Even if some teams such as the San Francisco 49ers are trying winning as a change of pace, many appear to be actively in the chase for Luck. And there are hints as to who is trying to fail the hardest:
Top 10 Clues You're In the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes
10. "Peyton Manning is giving a pep talk to your starting quarterback -- and you're not the Colts," said Ben S. of Indianapolis.
9. "You started Charlie Whitehurst, lost to Cleveland 6-3 -- and nobody noticed," said Keith H. of Seattle.
8. "In Week 17 you hold an Andrew Luck Appreciation Night," said Massawar A. of Queens, New York City.
7. "The heroic banners on the outside of your stadium are all of defensive backs," said Brian C. of Tampa.
6. "Your defensive players are fined for late hits on the quarterback -- and it's during a practice," said Janice H. of Palo Alto, Calif.
5. "Your team releases a video called 'The Andrew Luck Shuffle,'" said David H. of Tigard, Ore.
4. "He's out of work, so you hire LeBron James as special Fourth-Quarter Coach," said Carey S. of Palo Alto, Calif.
3. "Your team doesn't even bother to return Brett Favre's phone calls," said Kris E. of Suffern, N.Y. (Yes, the Favre streak of being mentioned in every list continues!)
2. "Your team scores the winning touchdown and your coach throws the challenge flag," said Lisa H. of Hamilton, Mont.
1. "You don't fire Tony Sparano," said Jeff G. of Cocoa Beach, Fla.
Ouch, that last one was harsh, Jeff. Finally, our advice to young Mr. Luck is that he might want to consider one more season at Stanford. After all, why take a step down before you have to, right?
Jerry Greene is a regular contributor to ESPN.com and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org