Commentary

Readers: Top temp jobs for NBA players

Updated: November 3, 2011, 11:16 AM ET
By Jerry Greene | Special to Page 2

Two words that strike terror into the hearts of working men and women everywhere: "Missed paychecks."

Those words fill the dark dreams of out-of-work NBA players as the owners' lockout continues to drag on toward what may be a thankless Thanksgiving for many. And despite handsome salaries, not all will have invested wisely. Not all will have stuffed some coins beneath the mattress to cope with these days of discontent.

In other words, some of these guys may need temporary employment. And you, the exemplary readers of Page 2, are here to help with job suggestions. However, we did have two problems with the entries for this week's Top 10 list:

• A fascination with the most heartbreaking event of 2011 -- the Kardashian/Humphries breakup. This was not my fault. She may not even know me.

• A fascination with Brett Favre's involvement in the NBA lockout. This was my fault. My bad on Monday for wondering if Favre would continue to make his way into this list as he has done for the previous 12 lists. Because of my big mouth, we were inundated with list ideas that included Favre. Here's one job suggestion: "Light bulb changer on Brett Favre's farm," said Mark M. of Monee, Ill. Sigh.

One more Favre mention made the list but perhaps this has to stop.

Top 10 Temporary Jobs for NBA Players

10. "Chairman of the Seattle SuperSonics' David Stern Fan Club," said Keith H. of Seattle.

9. "Tim Tebow's No. 1 wide receiver," said Karl L. of Panama City Beach, Fla.

8. For Gilbert Arenas: "Orlando Gun Safety Inspector," said Alice A. of St. Paul, Minn.

7. For Manu Ginobili: "Flopping mattress tester," said Ben M. of Peoria, Ill.

6. "Occupy David Stern's Office," said Scott P. of Brookings, S.D.

5. For Dwight Howard: "Join the circus to juggle a basketball, a fire stick and Nate Robinson," said Guillermo C. of Mexicali, Mexico. (Just don't try to hit a free throw, too.)

4. For LeBron James: "Join the NHL where there's rarely a fourth period," said Lisa H. of Hamilton, Mont.

3. "Try acting -- as long as you're not named Shaq," said Perry H. of Worcester, Mass.

2. For a dozen handsome players: "Participate in 'The Next Kardashian,' a reality show to determine Kim's next hubby. Producers guarantee the show and marriage will end before the lockout does," said Greg W. of Windham, Conn.

1. For Kris Humphries: "Be my Boy Toy. Do my grocery shopping, walk my dogs, reach things on the top shelf, cook, do yard work and, as a reward, travel to Mississippi once a week to cut Brett Favre's lawn," said Lisa A. of Benson, N.C. (First place for working Humphries and Favre into the same suggestion.)

Thanks to all. And we are seriously considering making next week's list "Top 10 Things That Have Nothing To Do With Brett Favre."

Jerry Greene is a regular contributor to ESPN.com and can be reached at osogreene@aol.com

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