Readers: Top 10 predicted NFL headlines

Originally Published: March 3, 2011
By Jerry Greene | Special to Page 2

When it comes to an NFL season this year, you are really pessimistic.

On Monday, we asked you to create this week's list: "Top 10 Predicted NFL Headlines for 2011." And just to be sure, I went back and checked to see whether I had said you should assume there will be a work stoppage in the NFL this season.

I did not ask that, but almost all of you made that assumption. And with the collective bargaining agreement between the owners and the players set to end Thursday at 11:59 p.m. ET, we are close to the abyss.

One thing I did write Monday was, "Who knows, maybe we will even get the truth?"

Based on your headlines, I sure hope this list isn't the truth, because we can't handle it.

Incidentally, we got some good headlines among the comments section of Monday's call for entries. My favorite from there came from "CaptCannonball," who wrote: "Lockout 2011 -- Somehow This Must Be Belichick's Fault."

We got a lot of suggested headlines involving Patriots coach Bill Belichick, but the person mentioned far more than anyone else was, of course, Brett Favre. Gang, we need to move on -- just as he needs to move on.

The most surprising person mentioned was in this predicted headline: "Cleveland Forgives LeBron, Who Leads Browns With 20 TD Catches," by Chris T. of Marblehead, Mass. But if LeBron James were a replacement star for the Browns, would he jump to the Dolphins in midseason?

Let's get to the list.

Top 10 Predicted NFL Headlines for 2011:

10. "NFL Players Decertify; NFL Owners Certifiable," by Michael T. of Fort Wayne, Ind.

9. "NFL & NBA Locked Out -- Americans Love Ice Hockey!" by Peggy C. of Oviedo, Fla.

8. "NFL Owners Hire Wisconsin Governor To Handle Labor Talks," by Edward S. of Caldwell, Idaho.

7. "Brett Favre Wins Replacement MVP, Old Spice Guy a Close Second," by Tim R. of Grand Junction, Colo.

6. "Fans Love Reading, 'Diary of a Wimpy Football League,' New York Times Bestseller!" by Phil H. of Fort Worth, Texas.

5. "Rod 'HeStillHatesMe' Smart Leads League in Rushing After Week 3," by Jeff S. of parts unknown, Ohio.

4. "NFL Owners End Lockout To Fight Upstart National Brett League," by Scott G. of Rockford, Ill.

3. "Cam Newton Returns To College, Cites Need For Paycheck," by Ben M. of Peoria, Ill.

2. "EA Sports Releases 'Madden UFL 2012,' Best-selling Video Game," by Nik R. of New Delhi, India.

1. "Jay Cutler Sprains Knee Walking Dog -- Blames Dog," by Mikey P. of Atlanta.

One reader did not include a name for an entry that was far too long to be a headline but was intriguing anyway: "New 15-yard penalty for 2012, 'looking at the quarterback crossly.' The referee will indicate the penalty by pointing at his eyes with index and middle finger of right hand while waving 'no' with index finger of left hand. All defensive linemen immediately begin wearing dark visors on helmets."

I believe this will happen. And Top 10 Rule Changes may be a list we use later in 2011. All we need is a season or else we won't need any rules.

Back to Page 2 »

• Philbrick: Page 2's Greatest Hits, 2000-2012
• Caple: Fond memories of a road warrior
• Snibbe: An illustrated history of Page 2
Philbrick, Gallo: Farewell podcast Listen