Page 2's Lakers-Celtics show tunes

Originally Published: March 1, 2011
By DJ Gallo | Page 2

Glad you're still humming along with us. Here are the rest of our Lakers-Celtics show tunes.

• Miss the first set of plays? Click here

(Sample lyrics, sung to the tune of "Thoroughly Modern Millie.")

So beat the drums 'cause here comes

Thoroughly Modern Riley now

What we think is chic, unique and quite adorable

Old-timers think is odd and "Sodom and Gomorrah"-ble!

But the fact is

Everything today is thoroughly modern

Phones are getting portable

Everything today is starting to go

Drugs are far more snortable

They say it's criminal that he's wearing Armani

What they're forgetting is

This is 1983!

(Sample lyrics, sung to the tune of "He's Not Dead Yet.")

Well now he's dead

James dunked upon his head

Sure, now he's dead

James fills a defense up with dread

(Sample lyrics, sung to the tune of "All I Ask Of You.")

Let me be

your center,

let me

protect the rim.

You're safe:

No one will blame you

even though your man is

far behind you.

(Sample lyrics, sung to the tune of "Hakuna Matata.")

"What? Are you kidding?!" What a wonderful phrase

"What? Are you kidding?!" Ain't no passing craze

It means complaining to refs for the rest of your days

It's my whining-filled philosophy.

"What? Are you kidding?"

(Sample lyrics, sung to the tune of "Springtime for Hitler.")

And now it's ...

Springtime for b-ball and the NBA

Fans want to see us each day!

We're profiting at a faster pace

Magic and Bird are our new face

Springtime for b-ball and the NBA

Our balance sheet is strong once more

Springtime for b-ball and the NBA

Watch out, baseball,

as our ratings soar!

(Sample lyrics, sung to the tune of "I Dreamed A Dream.")

I dreamed a dream of Larry's thighs

And now I want to pluck out my eyes

I dreamed a dream of short shorts -- why?

It was a nightmare and now I want to die.

• Click here to go back to the first set of plays

Page 2's Kurt Snibbe illustrated the playbills.

Back to Page 2

• Philbrick: Page 2's Greatest Hits, 2000-2012
• Caple: Fond memories of a road warrior
• Snibbe: An illustrated history of Page 2
Philbrick, Gallo: Farewell podcast Listen