Welcome to the Year in Review Quiz   

Updated: December 28, 2007, 2:21 PM ET

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Paid attention to the rain-makin' year in sports and everything else that was? Put your powers of observation and recall to the test* with Page 2's 2007 Year In Review Final Exam:

*(Please note: assistance from Florida State football academic tutors is strictly prohibited)


1. The University of Michigan football team lost at home to:
(a) Appalachian State
(b) Strayer University
(c) The Electoral College
(d) Duke


2. O.J. Simpson:
(a) Got in trouble
(b) Got in trouble
(c) Got in trouble
(d) Got in trouble

3. According to police, Simpson was the leader in an armed holdup of sports memorabilia collectors in which Simpson and other men took:
(a) Footballs autographed by Simpson
(b) Baseballs autographed by Pete Rose
(c) Pharmaceutical shipping labels autographed by Rick Ankiel
(d) VHS tapes autographed by Bill Belichick

4. Which of the following quotes was supposedly said by Simpson and captured on an alleged audio recording of the holdup?
(a) "Don't let nobody out of this room! … Think you can steal my [expletive] and sell it?"
(b) "And you will know my name is the Lord, when I lay my vengeance upon thee!"
(c) "Man, move over and let me pass, 'fore they have be to pullin' these Hush Puppies out your [expletive] [expletive]!"
(d) "[Expletive], Mr. Han man!"

5. Speaking about the incident, which allegedly took place in a Las Vegas hotel room, Simpson told the Los Angeles Times that:
(a) "I thought what happens in Las Vegas stays in Las Vegas"
(b) "I'm O.J. Simpson. How am I going to think that I'm going to rob somebody and get away with it?"
(c) A and B
(d) "Oh, Nordberg!"

6. The owner of an upscale Louisville steakhouse reportedly said he booted Simpson from his restaurant the night before the Kentucky Derby because:
(a) "[Of] the way [Simpson] continues to torture the lives of those [Brown and Goldman] families … with his behavior, attitude and conduct"
(b) The attention Simpson still receives from fans makes the owner "sick to his stomach"
(c) A and B
(d) "I saw the guy holding a steak knife, and I panicked. What can I say?"

7. A police informant told ESPN that former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick is _____ in the world of illegal dog fighting.
(a) "one of the heavyweights"
(b) "a Saint Bernard, or maybe a Mastiff"
(c) "like, a combination of Air Bud, Spuds MacKenzie and Scooby-Doo"
(d) "better-known than Ron Mexico"

8. Vick found Jesus:
(a) Somewhere between Moonlight Road and the federal courthouse in Richmond
(b) At the bottom of a stack of legal bills
(c) At the business end of a canine rape stand
(d) Inside Paris Hilton's prison Bible
(e) On the face of a tortilla in Guadalajara
(f) Under the couch cushions, next to his missing car keys

9. The Tennessee Titans got a court order prohibiting suspended cornerback Pacman Jones from:
(a) Touching or being touched, grappling, shoving, and throwing or having anything thrown at him during his pro wrestling debut
(b) Treating his pro wrestling debut like just another night at a strip club
(c) A and B

10. Washington Wizards forward Andray Blatche was arrested for:
(a) Attempting to solicit sex from an undercover female police officer
(b) Not realizing that he is a professional athlete, and that the District of Columbia features many bars and nightclubs where women tend to congregate
(c) Being too stupid to look up "escort service" in the phone book
(d) Never noticing all those Oriental massage parlor ads at the bottom of the sports page

11. According to the Chicago Sun-Times, then-Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson bought the following from the prison commissary during his 60-day jail stint:
(a) 162 beef sticks
(b) 40 honey bun sweet rolls
(c) 35 summer sausage blocks
(d) 35 bags of barbecue chips
(e) All of the above
(d) 2 vials of insulin and a do-it-yourself angioplasty kit

12. Paris Hilton reportedly was released from jail early because of:
(a) An undisclosed medical condition
(b) What, they don't have Valtrex in the pokey?


13. The Seattle Times reported that Seattle Sonics swingman Kevin Durant was the only player at an Orlando NBA pre-draft camp who failed to:
(a) Bench press 185 pounds
(b) Help a friend move his couch to the other side of the living room
(c) Carry two gallons of milk up a flight of stairs
(d) Open a jar of spaghetti sauce


14. NFL Europa, an American football league largely based in Germany:
(a) Folded after 16 years of operation
(b) NFL what?

15. In defeating Team New Zealand to retain the America's Cup, Swiss sailing team Alinghi proved that the most important factor in fielding a championship yacht program is:
(a) Hailing from a nation where chocolate, watch-making and confidential financial transactions take a back seat to old-fashioned knot-tyin' and seafarin'
(b) Hailing from a nation whose proud marine tradition is best embodied by the K-Swiss Nautical Collection and Swiss Navy brand premium personal lubricants
(b) Hailing from a nation that actually borders an ocean
(d) Cash, and lots of it

16. About 100 angry fans of the Brazilian soccer club Corinthians protested the club's seventh match without a win by:
(a) Going directly from the stadium to the home of club president Alberto Dualib
(b) Chanting insulting slogans and throwing eggs and firecrackers at Dualib's house
(c) A and B
(d) Cam Cameron just Googled "building a moat" and "DIY"

17. In an effort to make good on a national guarantee of perfect weather during next year's Beijing Olympics, China announced plans to:
(a) Fire rockets into the sky to scatter rain clouds
(b) Send cyborgs back in time to terminate Al Roker, Sam Champion and anyone else predicting rain
(c) Construct a giant, moveable disk that blocks out the sun and/or precipitation
(d) Dispatch the Stunticons to sabotage a race in the Middle East, thereby obtaining the power source to control weather

18. Which of the following did NOT occur during the Tour de France?
(a) Race leader Michael Rasmussen was removed from the race for violating "internal rules" involving two missed drug tests
(b) German cyclist Patrick Sinkewitz crashed into a spectator, after which it was revealed that he failed a drug test before the start of the Tour
(c) Kazakhstan cyclist Alexandre Vinokourov and his team were disqualified after he tested positive for a blood transfusion
(c) Police detained Italian rider Cristian Moreni, whose failed drug test prompted the withdrawal of his team
(d) A Swiss newspaper published a death notice for the sport of cycling, listing the cause of death as cheating and doping
(e) Race organizers announced that next year's Tour will take place at night, since all of the riders glow in the dark

19. The Milwaukee Brewers held a "Cerveceros Day," in which the team paid tribute to Hispanic culture by:
(a) Donning uniforms reading "Cerveceros," which means "Brewers" in Spanish
(b) Giving away Chorizo Racing Sausage bobbleheads
(c) Making bilingual announcements and scoreboard messages
(d) Having live mariachi bands
(e) Lou Dobbs' head just exploded

20. Former UCLA and NBA basketball player J.R. Henderson:
(a) Changed his name to J.R. Sakuragi
(b) Will compete for his adopted homeland of Japan in international competition
(b) Is surprisingly not involved in any herpes-related legal action
(d) All of the above


21. An injured Illinois police officer who came out of a nine-week coma and suffered damaged memory was:
(a) Delighted to rediscover that the Chicago White Sox won the 2005 World Series
(b) Even more delighted to rediscover that he isn't a Chicago Cubs fan
(c) Not-so-delighted to rediscover Rex Grossman
(d) Still unable to recall the Marcus Fizer era

22. Researchers found that the hearts of former Tour de France riders were 20 to 40 percent larger than average, putting them at greater risk of:
(a) Blood clots, strokes or heart attacks when using the performance-enhancing blood-booster EPO
(b) Death by irony


23. In ruling that Kentucky's Jockey Club could legally bar a horse owner from naming his four-year-old filly after famed Thomas Jefferson slave Sally Hemings, a federal appeals judge:
(a) Stated that the right to free speech is not absolute in all contexts
(b) Quoted Shakespeare's "What's in a name?"
(c) Cited lyrics from the band America's "A Horse With No Name"
(d) Dragged American jurisprudence one step closer to the inevitable day when Snoop Dogg's "Who Am I (What's My Name)" serves as binding legal precedent
(e) All of the above

24. The House of Representatives passed a resolution:
(a) Commending Green Bay Packers quarterback Brett Favre for setting the NFL record for career touchdown passes
(b) Condemning Favre for tying the NFL record for career interceptions

25. In order to "send a message to kids that steroid use is not the way to succeed in sports," Rep. Bobby Rush, D-Ill., announced that he would introduce federal legislation aimed at strengthening drug testing in:
(a) MLB
(b) That other league where Shawne Merriman makes the Pro Bowl

26. Members of the House Homeland Security Committee were advised to get hepatitis shots before:
(a) Going on an overseas detail
(b) Fly-fishing for medical waste off the Jersey Shore
(c) Reading about Pamela Anderson's wedding to Rick Salomon
(d) Attending NASCAR races

27. According to an airport police report, Sen. Larry E. Craig, R-Idaho, told arresting officers that his foot touched the foot of a plainclothes policeman in an adjacent stall not as a sexual come-on, but because:
(a) He has a wide stance when going to the bathroom
(b) He was practicing his long-snapping technique
(c) He was wearing roller skates, invisible ones, and his foot accidentally slipped
(c) He's a champion multi-tasker and likes to knock out his morning coffee, defecation and yoga stretches all at the same time


28. When Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb told HBO that African-American quarterbacks face more pressure and criticism than their white counterparts, he was referring to:
(a) Jeff George
(b) Drew Bledsoe
(c) Joey Harrington
(d) Rex Grossman
(e) None of the above


Joakim Noah

Jennifer Pottheiser/Getty Images

Wearing this in public far surpasses the guts it takes to win back-to-back titles.

29. The man in the adjacent picture wants to:
(a) Play pro basketball
(b) Practice law in a rural setting
(c) Sell you a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken
(d) Relive the legendary 1976-77 Marquette men's basketball team photo

30. Identify this Image:
(a) Rhinoceros vomit floating in Gatorade
(b) A post-apocalyptic can of Tab soda
(c) What you see on the screen right before your television dies
(d) The London 2012 Olympic logo
(f) My God. It's full of stars

31. Identify the person in this YouTube clip:
(a) An animatronic Jason Taylor, used to promote the Miami-New York game held in London
(b) The Dolphins' last best hope for winning more than one game this season
(c) Humanity's last best hope for stopping Godzilla
(d) Uh-oh. "Madden NFL" has finally become self-aware

Steelers Mascot

Scott Boehm/Getty Images

Steely McBeam is available for birthdays, private functions ... and for the right price, well, you know.

32. Identify the image to the right:
(a) Bill Cowher on the set of "Sesame Street"
(b) What a Village People concert looks like after dropping acid
(c) Adult film industry mascot Thrusty McRamrod
(d) New Pittsburgh Steelers mascot Steely McBeam

33. Identify the person dancing in this YouTube clip:
(a) A villain from the next "Batman" movie
(b) Peter Pan, experimenting with facial hair
(c) A painting from David Stern's art therapy class
(d) Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban

34. According to reports, Golden State Warriors guard Stephen Jackson got a tattoo depicting:
(a) Two praying hands in front of a church window holding a gun
(b) The Virgin Mary cradling a swaddled artillery shell
(c) Jesus struggling under the weight of two Stinger missiles, strapped to his back in the shape of a cross
(d) The Popemobile, running over fools outside a strip club

Anna Rawson

Mark Sullivan/WireImage

This Anna is also tied with Kournikova for WTA wins.

35. Identify the image to the right:
(a) Professional model Anna Rawson, who earned her LPGA Tour card
(b) Oh, wait, was I supposed to be paying attention to all those word-things to the left of the picture?

36. Who looks better in fishnets and heels?
(a) Oscar De La Hoya
(b) Britney Spears
(c) None of the above
(d) Zee goggles! They do nothing!


37. Los Angeles Galaxy midfielder David Beckham pronounced himself:
(a) "About 78 percent" fit to play in a match against DC United
(b) Possibly 80 percent fit to play, but only if he gets a good night's sleep before the match
(c) Only 76.54 percent fit to play, because there's a mosquito bite between his shoulders that he just can't reach and it's driving him crazy
(d) 100 percent fit to serve as the match statistician


38. According to a British magazine, pop singer Britney Spears:
(a) Commisioned a nude portrait of herself, with the stipulation that it be "tastefully done"
(b) Also commisioned a flying car, a cold fusion reactor, a unicorn wildlife preserve and an expedition to find the lost city of El Dorado

39. US Weekly and Life & Style report that Spears:
(a) Feeds her toddlers Doritos and Coca-Cola out of baby bottles
(b) Asked a dentist if she could have her 22-month-old son's teeth whitened
(c) Misplaces her cigarettes, then asks her son, "Baby, where are Mama's lollipops?"
(d) Is making Marv Marinovich and all those crazy tennis dads look pretty good

40. Pacman Jones' record label announced that the suspended cornerback planned to release a rap single which talks about:
(a) Respecting women, abiding by the law and eschewing violence
(b) Staying in, turning off the phone and curling up with a good book
(c) Quantum mechanics, Vivaldi's fifth and the socioeconomic foundations of the Bretton Woods accords
(d) Big money, cars and jewelry

41. Minnesota Timberwolves guard Troy Hudson's debut rap album:
(a) Sold 78 copies nationwide in the week following its release
(b) Still outsold Kevin Federline's debut album
(c) Still outsold Ron Artest's debut album
(d) Still outsold "The Wrestling Album" featuring "Grab Them Cakes" by the Junkyard Dog

42. Which of the following was NOT named to Forbes magazine's list of the world's most influential infants?
(a) Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
(b) Suri Cruise
(c) Sean Preston Federline
(d) Mike Gundy

43. According to the New York Post, Lance Armstrong and Ashley Olsen were spotted:
(a) At a bar, with Olsen sitting on Armstrong's lap, the couple "making out all night" then leaving together around 2 a.m.
(b) There is no God


44. Which of the following is a probable cause of more than a dozen people suffering heat exhaustion during the first football game at the University of Central Florida's $55 million new stadium?
(a) The stadium not being domed
(b) The stadium being located Orlando, where the average September high is 89 degrees
(c) The human body being about 60 percent water and needing at least 2.5 liters of water intake per day for proper hydration
(d) The stadium reportedly not having water fountains
(e) All of the above


45. Cut by the New England Patriots, punter Danny Baugher was charged with assaulting his 54-year-old father after he allegedly:
(a) Punched him in a fast-food parking lot at 4 a.m.
(b) Expected any sort of human interaction taking place in a fast-food parking lot at 4 a.m. to produce a positive outcome

46. The Chicago Tribune reported that an Illinois man has spent the last five years building:
(a) A 1/3 scale replica of Wrigley Field
(b) A life-sized Civil War chess set
(c) A functional lightsaber
(d) Devils Tower out of mashed potatoes

47. Anaheim Angels outfielder Reggie Willits reportedly:
(a) Lived with his wife and son in a functional, self-built indoor batting cage for the last three years
(b) Made Tampa Bay Bucs coach Jon Gruden wonder when he's going to stop goofing off, knuckle down and get serious about his career
(c) Knows exactly who broke his living room window with a baseball
(d) Can't understand why the Vice President won't just go ahead and sleep in those man-sized safes he keeps in his office


48. According to testimony in the sexual harassment case brought by former New York Knicks executive Anucha Browne Sanders against Isiah Thomas, the coach:
(a) Called Sanders a "bitch," an "[expletive] bitch" and a "ho"
(b) Embraced Sanders after a team victory and told her "I'm in love with you. It's like love and basketball"
(c) Described Sanders as "easy on the eyes" at an open practice and whined "no love today?" after Sanders rejected his attempt to hug and kiss her
(d) Is smoove with the ladies

49. In a videotaped deposition, Thomas said that:
(a) It's acceptable for a black man to call a black woman "bitch"
(b) It's not acceptable for a white man to call a black woman "bitch"
(c) A and B
(d) He really misses "Def Comedy Jam"


50. After a jury awarded Sanders $11.6 million in punitive damages following a sexual harassment trial, the Knicks settled with the former team executive for:
(a) $11.5 million
(b) $11.5 million, only $5.5 million more than Sanders sought in her original lawsuit
(c) $11.5 million, just $500,000 more than the club will pay Jared Jeffries and Jerome James this season
(d) Spike Lee just suffered an intracerebral hemorrhage

51. Following a 28-point New York loss to Philadelphia, Knicks owner James Dolan reportedly gave coach Thomas:
(a) A private vote of confidence
(b) A raise
(c) A back rub
(d) A fiddle made of gold, per previous arrangement

52. Knicks fans can take solace in:
(a) Thomas being 47 years old and average male life expectancy in the United States being only 75.2 years
(b) The gentle indifference of the world, which -- if Albert Camus is to be believed -- is like a brother, really
(c) The Knicks' payroll numbers being but shadows on the wall of a cave, as the true cost of New York's roster is both perfect and essentially unknowable
(d) None of the above

53. The Sports Business Journal reported that the NHL is considering:
(a) Adding two more teams, one in Las Vegas and the other in Kansas City
(b) Adding 20 more teams, one of them in Honolulu, another in Mexico City, the better to keep this Ponzi scheme going
(c) Calling a toll-free number to hear Donald Trump's personal wealth-building secrets, which are so effective that he wants to share them for free
(d) Giving its bank account information to the Hon. Mr. Dr. Clemet Okon, who promises to complete the 100 percent safe transaction of $21,300,000 presently trapped in Nigeria

54. French luxury goods supplier Louis Vuitton is ending its sponsorship of the America's Cup because of:
(a) Concerns that the sailing event has become too commercial
(b) Concerns that Louis Vuitton's sponsorship justification process has become too un-ironic

55. A Chinese company that once tried to sell land on the moon lost its appeal against a court ruling that:
(a) Stopped the company from selling bags of "World Cup Air"
(b) Stopped the company from peddling personal seat licenses
(c) Stopped the company from including preseason games in NFL season ticket packages
(d) Stopped the company from charging $8.50 for a plastic cup filled with lukewarm beer

56. Agent Scott Boras announced that Alex Rodriguez would opt out of his New York Yankees contract:
(a) During Game 4 of the World Series
(b) Through unauthorized use of the Emergency Broadcast System
(c) While Googling himself in front of a full-length mirror
(d) By holding a nighttime parade in downtown Gotham, with music by Prince, a $20 million giveaway and Smilex gas-filled balloons

57. Identify the NBA's new slogan:
(a) Where Amazing Happens!
(b) Where Amazing Happens After 10:30 ET!
(c) Where Amazing Happens, But Only If You Take The Over!
(d) Where Amazing Happens, Specifically In New York, Where Isiah Thomas Remains Gainfully Employed!
(e) Where The San Antonio Spurs Are A Year Older, So Don't Change The Channel, Please!


58. An editorial in the Notre Dame student newspaper called on students to:
(a) Not storm the field after a potential Irish victory over then-No. 4 Boston College
(b) Not storm the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln following the end of major combat operations in Iraq
(c) Not storm record stores after the release of "Chinese Democracy"
(d) Not storm the pumpkin patch after the arrival of the Great Pumpkin


59. During her "The View" debut, Whoopi Goldberg defended Vick by stating that dogfighting isn't that unusual in the South, just as:
(a) Cockfighting isn't that unusual in Puerto Rico
(b) Mongoose versus cobra isn't that unusual on YouTube
(c) Blackface isn't that unusual in a Whoopi Goldberg routine
(d) Bubbleheadedness isn't that unusual on "The View"

60. Which of the following statements was NOT on a handwritten note Vick purportedly left on the podium of the Richmond hotel where he made a public apology for his involvement in dogfighting?
(a) "Young Kids/ I Acted Immature"
(b) "We All Make Mistakes"
(c) "Forgiveness + Understanding"
(d) "Only Tortured Dogs -- Never Puppies"

61. Australian cricket star Shane Warne:
(a) Reportedly sent a text message to his wife that was intended for his mistress
(b) Said in that message, "Hey beautiful, I'm just talking to my kids, the back door's open"
(c) A and B
(d) Must have been sleeping around with an English teacher, because he actually bothered to punctuate a text message

62. A New York Post cover story claiming New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez went to dinner, a Toronto strip club and back to his hotel with an unidentified busty blond woman -- not his wife -- carried the following headline:
(g) God bless the New York Post

63. Radio announcer Suzyn Waldman's call of Roger Clemens' return to the New York Yankees would have been more appropriate:
(a) At a monster truck rally featuring Gravedigger, Predator, Truckasaurus and QUUUUAAAD WARRRS! WITH NO BRAKES! NO BRAKES!
(b) Had a hydrogen-filled German zeppelin simultaneously exploded above Yankee Stadium
(c) As a classroom teaching tool example for future mental health professionals of DSM-IV code No. 301.81: Narcissistic Personality Disorder
(d) If sponsored by Pfizer and Merck
(e) All of the above

64. After being suspended by the NBA for a misdemeanor domestic violence charge stemming from a dispute with his wife, Sacramento Kings forward Ron Artest e-mailed a statement of contrition to ESPN.com, apologizing to:
(a) His family, the NBA, the NBAPA
(b) The Kings, New York City, somebody named Hank Carter
(c) The Wheelchair Charities, all of his supporters
(d) All of the above
(e) Pretty much everyone on the planet except his wife

65. In an interview with Baseball Prospectus, the guy who designs Bonds' arm brace claimed that:
(a) Bonds' arms have not grown in size since 1992
(b) Elvis is alive and living in Kalamazoo, Mich.
(c) Pete Rose never bet on baseball
(d) We have always been at war with Eurasia

66. During an interview with ESPN, Alabama football coach Nick Saban:
(a) Said "honesty, integrity, loyalty, being fair and honest with people has always been the trademark of what I've done"
(b) Wrapped up a 2008 Academy Award nomination
(c) Refused to sit within 100 yards of any tall, metal objects


67. Marion Jones:
(a) Thought it was flaxseed oil
(b) Whatever, dude

68. According to documents obtained by Yahoo.com, former NFL quarterback Tim Couch:
(a) Had a performance-enhancing drug regimen that called for anabolic steroids and human growth hormone
(b) Had a drug regimen that called for anabolic steroids and human growth hormone

69. The New York Times reported that before random drug tests of players, Major League Baseball teams regularly receive:
(a) Up to nearly two days of advance notice
(b) A complimentary carton of Whizzinators
(c) Forty GET OUT OF JAIL FREE cards
(d) Detailed legal instructions regarding plausible deniability and how it relates to flaxseed oil

70. According to the logic of Detroit Tigers slugger Gary Sheffield, which of the following items qualifies as steroids?
(a) Enema kits
(b) Rectal thermometers
(c) Preparation H
(d) Colonoscopy cameras
(e) All of the above

71. After flunking a drug test for cocaine at the Canadian Wheelchair Marathon Championship, racer Jeff Adams blamed:
(a) A contaminated catheter
(b) Catheter manufacturing plants that double as coca processing facilities
(c) Catheter shipping depots staffed by crack addicts
(d) The guy at the drugstore who sold Adams a catheter while snorting lines off the counter
(e) Lindsay Lohan

72. Which of the following individuals was NOT named in the Mitchell report?
(a) Roger Clemens
(b) Andy Pettitte
(c) Miguel Tejada
(d) Lance Armstrong

73. According to the Mitchell report, MLB medical director Dr. Robert Millman:
(a) Warned steroid critic Dr. Lewis Maharan to "shut up"
(b) Was part of a league presentation extolling the virtues of testosterone
(c) A and B
(d) Can be reached at 1-800-DOCTORB. The "B" is for bargain!

74. The take-home message of the Mitchell report is:
(a) Players, teams and the league office all share responsibility for steroid use
(b) MLB drug testing should be independent and more stringent
(c) Baseball must curb steroid use for the sake of the kids
(d) If you're gonna have the clubbies run juice for you, make sure you pay by cash

75. After Sylvester Stallone pleaded guilty in an Australian court to importing 48 vials of human growth hormone, his lawyer said the actor was taking the drugs for:
(a) An undisclosed medical condition
(b) Male-pattern vanity


76. New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick:
(a) Broke NFL rules and ignored previous league warnings by illegally videotaping the New York Jets' coaching signals
(b) Would very much like to grunt a few monotone sentences about this week's opponent, thank you for asking
(c) Didn't literally dip into Richard Nixon's playbook, unlike George Allen, so give the guy a break, OK?
(d) Is afraid the deflector shields will be quite operational when your friends arrive

77. According to Fox Sports, NBC and other news outlets, Belichick and the Patriots:
(a) Possibly had microphones installed in defensive linemen's shoulder pads in order to tape opponents' line calls and audibles
(b) Might have stolen playbooks from opponents' dressing rooms
(c) Are suspected of sabotaging opponents' sideline-to-booth and coach-to-quarterback communications equipment
(d) Were thisclose to catching Osama Bin Laden at Tora Bora


78. Pacman Jones reportedly spent the night before his April meeting with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell:
(a) In his hotel room, reading the Bible and watching QVC
(b) At the opera
(c) Delivering a lecture to the American Meteorological Society on the proximate causes of precipitation
(d) At a New York City strip club

79. In which of the following circumstances are you LEAST likely to see a condom?
(a) Filled with water and tossed from a dorm window
(b) On a handmade bachelorette party necklace
(c) Rolled down a banana during sex ed class
(d) Within 500 yards of Denver Broncos running back Travis Henry

80. After staying at the house of friend and musical performer Kid Rock during the Buick Open, golfer John Daly told reporters that he:
(a) Yelled background vocals for a country song on Kid Rock's upcoming album
(b) Had a hard time concentrating with all the screeching noise, as if millions of music critics suddenly cried out in terror and were silenced

81. USC's recruitment of 14-year-old basketball player Ryan Boatwright did NOT include:
(a) Coach Tim Floyd watching Boatwright play at USC's basketball camp
(b) Floyd offering Boatwright a scholarship, which the eighth-grader promptly accepted, even though he has yet to choose a high school
(c) Floyd getting his second verbal commitment from a 14-year-old in the last two years
(d) The sudden appearance of Chris Hansen

82. A survey of American golfers found that in exchange for the perfect swing:
(a) 21 percent would give up their next pay raise
(b) 25 percent would give up their hair
(c) 40 percent would give up sex for a month
(d) All of the above
(e) Play enough golf, and all of the above will happen, anyway


83. Arizona Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart: asking the team to "ride or die with him"
(a) Poochie : "you the fool I pity"
(b) All of the above

84. Daunte Culpepper : quoting Gandhi to describe his falling out with the Miami Dolphins
(a) Stephen Coonts : quoting Ovid to open "Flight of the Intruder"
(b) Larry Johnson : invoking slavery to describe playing a children's game for millions of dollars
(c) Paris Hilton : claiming to be spiritual after a few days in jail
(d) All of the above

85. Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna : the Lions will win 10 games
(a) New York forward David Lee : the Knicks will make the playoffs
(b) Neville Chamberlain : A peace for our time
(c) White Star Line officials : The Titanic is unsinkable
(d) All of the above

86. Louisiana state legislature : voting to ban cockfighting next year
(a) Major League Baseball : instituting steroid testing in 2004
(b) Hillary Clinton : being against the Iraq war in 2007
(c) The Pope : declaring in 1992 that the church erred in condemning Galileo
(d) All of the above

87. Mike Nifong : responsible prosecuting
(a) Mike Brown: effective coordination of disaster relief
(b) Rafael Palmeiro : honest Congressional testimony
(c) Jayson Williams : judicious exercise of Second Amendment rights
(d) All of the above

88. Alexi Lalas : MLS is as good as the EPL
(a) Darren Daulton : anything he says about Mayan temples
(b) Dick Cheney : Greeted as liberators
(c) Obi Wan Kenobi : Not the droids you're looking for
(d) All of the above

89. Los Angeles Dodgers : hosting a steroid awareness clinic before playing Barry Bonds and the San Francisco Giants
(a) Cincinnati Bengals : hosting Police Appreciation Night
(b) American Film Institute : celebrating the 50 greatest actresses in movie history before a screening "I Know Who Killed Me"
(c) Tour de France : holding a blood transfusion drive before the race
(d)All of the above

90. David Beckham : playing soccer for the Los Angeles Galaxy
(a) Terrence Malick : directing movies
(b) Lindsay Lohan : being sober
(c) Axl Rose : making albums that are actually released
(d) All of the above

91. The Syracuse Chiefs Triple-A baseball team : making 10 errors in a 12-10 loss to Ottawa
(a) Ottawa : only winning by two runs despite their opponent making 10 errors
(b) All of the above


92. Detroit Lions wide receiver Roy Williams told a Detroit-area radio station that he:
(a) Is a cheap date and content to eat at McDonalds
(b) Does not tip pizza delivery guys
(c) Might take a date who "wants to go somewhere nice" to Red Lobster or maybe a casino's free buffet
(d) All of the above
(e) Is totally cool with being single

93. The blog 100 Percent Injury Rate reported that Celebrity Skin and Bodily Fluids, a Los Angeles-based company, is selling Mike Tyson's:
(a) Bacteria, for $6.75
(b) Skin cells, for $12.75
(c) Fecal matter, for $31
(d) Debit or credit?

94. Former Barry Bonds mistress Kimberly Bell reportedly told Playboy magazine that:
(a) She sometimes faked it while in bed with Bonds
(b) Something fake involving Barry Bonds?
(c) Playboy has words?

95. Kansas City Royals outfielder Emil Brown:
(a) Hit a television reporter near the eye with a pellet from a small plastic gun
(b) Is no longer all fun and games

96. According to Miss Teen South Carolina, the most urgent problem facing our nation is:
(a) A tragic map shortage among U.S. Americans
(b) A tragic map shortage in South Africa
(c) A tragic map shortage in the Asian Nations
(d) The ongoing failure of the "For Dummies" guys to publish a beauty pageant guide

97. According to the Dallas Morning News, 33 high school cheerleaders:
(a) Were involved in a scuffle at cheering camp
(b) The scuffle did not involve pillows or baby oil
(c) Damn

98. When the beer tap failed on a special train carrying German soccer fans to a match, railway officials:
(a) Halted the train for 15 minutes in order to have a replacement part delivered by taxi
(b) Germany is awesome

99. Which of the following is an actual headline from 2007?
(a) Sex Life Of Jumping Spiders Continues To Surprise Scientists
(b) Man Finds Human Leg In Smoker Purchased At Auction
(c) Naked Chocolate Jesus Rises Again in New York
(d) Suspect Says He Killed, Not Ate, His Girlfriend
(e) NFL Backs Down, Fans Win
(f) All of the above

100. What subject did Portland Trail Blazers center Greg Oden -- who said of the Pacific Northwest, "I know it's close to L.A. and I love that. I want to go to L.A. and go to the beach" -- major in while attending Ohio State?
(a) Geography
(b) None of the above

ANSWER KEY: 1, a; 2, a-d; 3, a; 4, a, though d would have been badass; 5-6, c; 7, a; 8, all answers valid; 9, c, and too bad; 10, a; 11, e; 12, a, and have you ever heard of a disclosed medical condition?; 13, a, somebody get this kid a bogus HGH prescription already!; 14, a, and adios, Barcelona Dragons; 15, d; 16, c, and a flaming moat would be more appropriate; 17, a; 18, e; 19, a-d; 20, d; 21, a, though b-d are reasonable assumptions; 22, a, irony doesn't kill people, O.J. Simpson does (allegedly); 23, e, and who knew Lionel Hutz was a federal appeals judge?; 24, a; 25, a, after all, it's not like the Carolina Panthers won that Super Bowl; 26, d; 27, a; 28, e; 29, a; 30, d; 31, a; 32-33, we love you Cubes!; 34-35, a; 36, c-d; 37, a, and really, WTF is Becks babbling about?; 38, a, good luck with that; 39, a-d; 40, d; 41, a, and ouch; 42, d; 43, a-b; 44, e; 45, a-b; 46-47, a; 48, all answers valid; 49, c; 50, a-c, and oy!; 51, a, James Dolan is the best boss ever; 52, d; 53-57, a, and why did we try to sell cell phones when we could have been selling bags of air?; 58, a, and phew! Crisis averted!; 59, a; 60, d; 61, c; 62, a; 63, e; 64, d; 65, a, and puh-leeze; 66, a, and ha ha ha ha ha; 67-69, a; 70, f; 71, a, and why didn't Floyd Landis think of that?; 72, d; 73, c, calling Dr. Feeeeeelgoood!; 74, d; 75, a, and c'mon, Paris Hilton already used that one; 76, a; 77, a-c; 78, d, and if you missed this one, you're beyond academic help; 79, d; 80, a; 81-82, d; 83, b, why Matt Leinart, why?; 84-90, d; 91, b; 92, d, and does Roy Williams wear a tip card on his wristband?; 93, a-c, and yuck!; 94-95, a; 96, a-c; 97, a; 98, a, though Germany does sound pretty awesome; 99, f, really and truly!; 100, b, and you know what? Maybe Miss Teen South Carolina knows what she's talking about, after all.



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