By Dan Shanoff
Page 2 columnist

I walk down the street muttering, "Glory be, the funk's on me." The question is not whether Nike's "Roswell Rayguns" faux-1970s campaign starring a fur-draped Vince Carter is the most clever commercial series of the year; the question is when the company will send me a Rayguns uniform, which would surely displace the Wes Unseld No. 41 Bullets retro as the hottest jersey on the street.

Sticking with commercials, if you haven't seen the Keith Jackson-narrated Gatorade ad featuring grainy classic footage of Steve Spurrier-era Florida football, you're missing the advertising equivalent of ESPN Classic. What does it mean? "Retro" is the watchword for the summer.

So now that you've got the scoop on one thing that's totally passé, take a look at the rest of what's hot and what's not this week. Feel free to share with your co-workers, buddies and significant others -- they will really appreciate you for it:

What's Hot, What's Not this week
Category Hot Not
Controversy Uncloseting athletes Kobe's food poisoning
Giambi brother in a new uni

NFL training camp gimmick Straight-on kickers
Come in without a contract
(Patrick Ramsey in DC)
NBA draft intrigue Clippers at 8, 12 spots What will Houston do?
Cubs savior
An unscathed Mark Prior

A healthy Kerry Wood
Matt Hasselbeck's nightmare
Ryan Leaf

Trent Dilfer
NBA draft sleeper PG Florida exile Teddy Dupay Fresno exile Tito Maddox
Reffing issue Foul counts Last-second shots
Early World Cup bandwagon team

Costa Rica
Postgame press conference look Shaq's white bucket hat Kobe's white Yankees hat
Brian Billick's cause Players should
dump their agents
Players should mug
for HBO cameras
Playoff madness NHL OT NBA road teams winning
NFL contract

Rich Gannon

Joe Horn
MLB division NL West AL Central
New Orleans NBA franchise nickname
The Jazz
(make a trade with Utah)

The Hornets
Football-analyst Cris Carter Collinsworth
Mr. Excitement
Bobby Jackson

Keith Van Horn
Brady Anderson statement Thumb sticking out
on highway
Sideburns sticking out from hat
Vikings relocation conventional wisdom Red McCombs' L.A. envy Red McCombs' Irsay envy
Movie blockbuster "Insomnia" "Spirit: Stallion
of the Cimarron"
Shady sports-racing industry Dogs Horses
Arturs Irbe

Curtis Joseph
Voting block Office-park dads Soccer moms
NBA's greatest coach ever Phil Jackson Red Auerbach
500-HR Club member Frank Robinson Mark McGwire
NHL clutch scorers Unexpected players Superstars

Dan Shanoff is a columnist for Page 2. His "What's Hot, What's Not" trend-spotting list appears Thursdays. Got inside scoop on an up-and-coming trend? Want to declare something passé? Send this glimpse of your hipness to