Single page view By Bill Simmons
Page 2

Mildly exciting NCAA Finals ... although there was some serious potential for a Pantheon Game in those final two minutes. We were one Luther Head three away.

I did think we learned a valuable lesson: Any time Team A has five future first-round picks and Team B has one future first-rounder and two future second-rounders, Team A is probably winning the game, no matter how many dumb things their coach does during the game.

My main criticism with the tournament: They need to move the three-point line back because college hoops is slowly morphing into another sport -- like a cross between basketball and those contests they have during NBA timeouts where fans get to shoot from different spots on the court for airline tickets. How is it basketball when a team attempts just as many threes as twos? Why not just designate spots on the court that count for four and five points, just so we could have heard this exchange:

Nantz: "We're back after the 35th TV timeout of the second half. What does Illinois need to do here, Billy?"

Packer: "Well, they're down by 5 with ten seconds left -- they need to run a couple of picks for Luther Head and try to get him the ball near that American Airlines Five-Point Circle."

Nantz: "Any chance they'll attempt a Burger King 6-Point Halfcourt shot for the win?"

Packer (complete disdain): "I don't think so, Jim -- I think they just want to tie the game here and send it to OT."

Nantz: "Well, folks, before we find out what happens, I don't mean to be a pest, but don't forget the world-premiere of 'Locusts' on April 24th. Billy, there's been a buzz building about this movie all month -- wait, timeout on the floor, we'll be back after this!"

While we're here, more thoughts on the NBA Draft prospects of some of the players we watched over the past few days.

Sean May: Reminds me of a righthanded Brian Williams -- his looks and his puffy body, his inside game and those random moments where it seems like he gives a crap -- to the point that he should change his name to "Venison Beret." He could absolutely become a 15-10 guys in the pros if he gets in shape and decides to start running back on defense. So here's my question: if he can't get in shape when he's playing for NBA lottery status, why would he get in shape when he's getting a paycheck every 2 weeks? I think it's going to depend which team drafts him -- for instance, if he goes to Minnesota and KG, or the Nets and Kidd, that could help him avoid things like "Maybe I should avoid having that 10th cheeseburger" and "I'll just hang out here at halfcourt while they finish up that 3-on-1," because guys like Kidd and KG would never put up with that crap. Worst-case scenario for May: The Lakers.

Marvin Williams: Would be more effective in the pros because he's so active and does so many of the Little Things -- along the lines of Luol Deng last year -- but he's not as polished offensively as Deng was. On a crappy team, I think he will struggle next year. On a decent team, he would have more of an impact. Needs to come out since he would be a top-5 pick.



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