You won't believe what Simmons saw

Updated: August 5, 2009, 5:59 PM ET
By Bill Simmons | Page 2

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4 | PART 5 | PART 6 | PART 7 | PART 8 | PART 9 | PART 10 | PART 11 | PART 12 | PART 13 | PART 14 | PART 15 | PART 16 | PART 17 | PART 18 | PART 19 | PART 20

Sports Collectors Convention Gallery

Real seats from Tiger Stadium, Yankee Stadium, Municipal Field and more. Always a goofy purchase because the seats are too uncomfortable to actually sit in, nor would you want to. It's like buying a car you can't drive.

Sports Collectors Convention Gallery

A 1923 Yankee Stadium seat was going for a scant $1,700. There were more than a few Yankee Stadium seats there, actually.

Sports Collectors Convention Gallery

In fact, I couldn't take it anymore and finally had to take a photo of me pretending to give a middle finger to one of them. Sorry.

Sports Collectors Convention Gallery

I went to the show with my friend Bernard (a pseudonym), a long-time memorabilia junkie who works in professional sports. He gave me one rule before we started walking around: "Don't start looking through the old Sports Illustrateds. It's like falling in quicksand. Two hours will go by before you know it. Can't do it. Gotta keep moving." Good advice.

(Note: And besides, collecting magazines is dumb. Take it from someone who has every SI from 1974 to 1993 and every Inside Sports from 1980 to 1983. They end up in attics in storage bins, and every once in a while, your mom will call saying, "Hey, what do you want to do with those Sports Illustrateds, can I throw them out yet?" And you will say no, only you won't know why. Because she probably should.)

Sports Collectors Convention Gallery

Nothing gets the kids ready for a board game quite like the friendly face of Mr. Vince Lombardi. "ROLL THE DICE, YOU NO-GOOD A-HOLES! ROLL IT!"

Sports Collectors Convention Gallery

That's a check endorsed by Mother Teresa. Would have been funny if it was made out to a liquor store. (Pause.) Wait, am I going to hell for that joke?


Bill Simmons (@BillSimmons) is the editor-in-chief of Grantland and the author of the New York Times no. 1 best-seller The Book of Basketball. For every Simmons column and podcast, log on to Grantland. To send him an e-mail, click here.