By The Intern
Page 2

Two incredibly profound thoughts:

• As an increasingly mentioned cliche, this has been bothering me for awhile: I think there is nothing more overrated than the effect of cross-country flights on professional athletes. Granted, I have never tried to fly across three times zones and then compete at the highest athletic level. But it's not like these guys fly like the rest of us. They travel on luxurious charter planes with oversized leather seating, dine on shrimp cocktails, and play cards or sleep the entire time. Then they check into their five-star hotel and get an hour-long massage. If I was given the choice to travel like an NBA player to my intramural games or drive the 15 minutes from my apartment, I'd take the luxurious travel every time.

• It's a sad state of affairs when Daunte Culpepper mercifully gets put out to pasture and his fantasy owners don't even flinch. It's terrible, but for sheer peace of mind, I think I was actually relieved. (Chris G.) -- Turns out Larry was only three when Emilio Estevez cornered him in the locker room and "taped his buns together." It's a thinker. -- If Marty McFly were nine years-old. And British. And lured by 20 pounds instead of taunts of "chicken." - Simmons calls this the "most depressing ebay auction ever." I think I'll decline any jokes here. (Matt D. in Woburn, MA) -- Did you know that the Coors Light "Twins" were born of Polish immigrant factory workers? Of course you did, but check out their site anyway. (Jeff H. in L.A.) -- Picture "Million Dollar Baby." Now, replace Clint Eastwood with Lou Diamond Phillips. Then sub Mariah Carey for Hilary Swank. What the hell, let's make it a romantic comedy and randomly throw in Donald Trump, too. Now imagine that this is real. (Carl R.) -- Look at the picture on the bottom left. That's right, dude ran across the field as the Burger King. Here's hoping he got a standing ovation upon arriving at jail.

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