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What the heck was Jose Canseco thinking when he agreed to join Bronson Pinchot, "Pepa" Denton, Omarosa and other B-List celebrities in the cast for the fifth season of the VH1 reality show, "The Surreal Life"?

Jose Canseco
Memo to "Surreal Life" producers: Please bunk Canseco with Balky. Please.

A. "Finally! A chance to restore my dignity!"

B. "I've got some good ideas about how to make this show even more surreal – like, show clips of Mark McGwire testifying before Congress."

C. "This is gonna be easy. I've been confined to a house before for much longer than this."

D. "As long as the cameras aren't allowed to follow me when I get naked in bathroom stalls with other guys, I'll be fine."

E. "Wait till you see how moody Omarosa can be after I get her on 'roids."

F. 'Dang! My agent told me it was going to be Salt."