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'Whisker Wars' Rates Athlete Beards

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David Beckham, LA Galaxy

Photograph By Rex Features/AP Images

Alex LaRoche: C+. This guy has so much coverage on his upper lip that he should really grow out his mustache like Sam Elliott.

Jack Passion: A-. Facial hair should complement your face. There's no neutral, it can only make you look better or worse. Some styles work on some guys, others don't. This stache-n-stubble perfectly complements this man's face. It is a shining example of what facial hair can do for you. Why the A-? Well, life is just so hard when you're beautiful, isn't it?

Miletus Callehan: C+. Beckham is full with the classic Selleck 'stache, yet blows it completely with Don Johnson's stubble. Plus, now that I see it, he has some strange obsession with '80s TV stars' facial hair.