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Friday, April 4, 2014
Updated: April 6, 6:25 PM ET
Bracket of Discontent: The Biebs rules

By Sarah Spain

Bracket of Discontent

After five rounds of torturous decisions between some seriously awful and brutal stuff, it's time to crown a champion in the first Bracket of our Discontent.

The winner ... er, loser? ... comes as no surprise. It's the Biebs, of course!

The 20-year-old pop star from London, Ontario, absolutely annihilated the competition, finishing his impressive tournament run with a sound beating of "Twitter Trolls" in the title game. In a short time, the Biebs has gone from just a cloying kid singing that awful earworm "Baby" to a tiny little man who traipses across the country with his pants near his ankles, urinates in mop buckets, eggs houses, speeds in quiet family neighborhoods, abandons pet monkeys, wears gas masks for no good reason, gets arrested for drag racing and acts like the world's biggest diva in a legal deposition.

It's been a remarkable run of truly awful, super brutal behavior, and I can't think of anyone more deserving of the first Bracket of our Discontent title.

You've done it all now, Justin. There's nothing left for you to conquer here in the United States. Guess it's time to head back to Canada. Scurry along now ...

Justin Bieber