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Tuesday, May 20, 2003
Your winning whiners

Today we induct the inaugural class into the Whiners Hall of Fame. Our first class included the nine most prolific complainers in sports, but we knew there were more out there. So we opened up the floor to SportsNation. You sent us about 2,000 email nominations of folks deserving of the 10th spot on the list. Here are some of the best submissions and most popular nominations.

Our List of Whiners
1. John McEnroe
2. Lou Holtz
3. Jerry Rice
4. George Steinbrenner
5. Bill Laimbeer
6. Al Davis
7. Scott Hoch
8. Italian and Brazilian National Soccer Teams
9. Pete Rose
Get the full story
Here are some of the most popular nominees.

Lou Piniella
How about Lou Piniella? I never see any other manager whine as much as him. He's not even a good whiner, either. Some people can look cool while whining. Lou looks like a beached whale struggling to get back into the ocean...
John Lewis
Glendale, Ariz

Keyshawn Johnson
Simply put, "Throw me the damn ball!" should have been replaced with: "Trade me to a team begging for a big-time wide receiver. Then watch me flounder as Joe Jurevicius, at best a third wideout for most teams in the league, asserts himself as the only true receiving threat on our Super Bowl team."

His presenter should be Randy Moss. If the stage could only support their egos. Ryan Maxwell

Reggie Miller
Reggie is the biggest whiner in all of sports. He flops more than Flipper and whines more than my 5-year-old. My runnerup is Pat Riley and the so-called ref conspiracy against the Heat. He has been in the sun for too long.
St. Louis

Rasheed Wallace
I'm not sure if he's a whiner or a headcase, but he's in.
Long Beach, Calif.

Jeff George
I'm very suprised Page 2 didn't take this opportunity to take advantage and once again point out the biggest whiner of the NFL -- Jeff George. "It's all cause and effect," to quote the "Matrix." Jeff was sacked so much because he whined, he whined because he was sacked. There's a reason 'not so mobile QB's' are hardly touched. They respect their linemen, and don't cry about it. Here's to you, Mr. Standout QB, and everybody that wished you had just sat back down.
Greenwood, Ind.

Paul O'Neill
OK, so I am going to be one of 100,000 people who put Paul O'Neill as a must for the class of 2003 Whiners Hall of Fame.

It was amazing to see a man brought to tears for flying out when his team was up 10 runs in the ninth inning.
Kevin Garvey

Red Sox Nation
Every single person, player, fan, old, young, dead or alive, ever associated with the Boston Red Sox is an absolute whiner. If McEnroe is bad for blaming line judges, these people are worse for blaming "Evil Empires" and "Bambino Curses" for their own failure to be a winning city. No other American fan group whines and cries like this bunch. Red Sox fans are the only people in sports that HATE another team more than they love their own team. People in New York do not concern themselves with the Red Sox because we are winners!

Presenter: Bill Buckner via secured sattelite and Babe Ruth's decaying corpse.

Presenter's Comments:
Bill: "Here take it is ... please just leave me alone ... I'm sorry ..."
Decaying Bambino: "Thank God you guys traded me when you did ..."

Red Sox Representative: "We would have been first if it were not for the unborn children of Derek Jeter. I have not cheered this loud since we broke up Mike Mussina's perfect game at Fenway in the bottom of the ninth a few years back (though we still lost the game).
Brendan P. Mooney
Long Beach, N.Y.

Steve Spurrier
Spurrier should definitely be in the runnings (of the mouth) for the Whiner of the Decade.
St. Louis

University of Alabama Fans
Accomplishments: Claim to have 12 National Championships when they only have six. Have been on probation twice in the last 10 years but have said they are being made an example. Upset that Bear Bryant is still dead.

Presenter: Bear Bryant

Speech: I am dead, leave me alone.

Speech from fans: Screw you. We still have 12. Jeremy

Michael Jordan
I nominate Michael Jordan as one of the great all-time whiners.

Once he had been annointed "best ever" he whined to the refs EVERY TIME a call didn't go his way. He whined about being held to a higher standard despite having commercials exhorting kids to "be like Mike." He whined about the Bulls with his "give me what I want or I'll take my toys and go home" deal. He whined about Kwame Brown even though HE drafted him. It was incessant and made his "most sucked-up to superstar" status all the more sickening.

Vlade Divac
It's a little known fact, but Vlade has never committed a foul in his entire career. Not one. Not ever. Just ask him.
Nathaniel Quance

I think Shaq is undoubtably the largest mountian of human flesh that has ever been synanomous with the word "baby."

He complains about officiating -- despite the fact that his Lakers' 3-peat was fueled by some of the fishiest officiating in league history.

He complains about Kobe -- who has more talent than anyone seen on a basketball floor since the first time MJ retired.

He complains about other centers flopping -- the laws of physics clearly state that when Vlade Divac, Shawn Bradley and Co. collide with his massive backside, it is not probable that they will remain on their feet.

Despite his massive frame, Shaq has a lot of growing up to do. He plays alongside the games best talent, for the games greatest coach, and in a league where he outweighs eveyone not named Derrick Coleman or Shawn Kemp by a good one hundred and fifty pounds. Poor Shaq.

Rusty Wallace
With the growing level of interest for NASCAR, I've got two drivers for your list ... Rusty Wallace and his "baby" brother, Jeff Gordon.
Scott Yocum
Wheeling, W.V.

Danny Ainge
Danny Ainge has got to be the biggest whiner in history. Some people get wrinkles from smiling or squinting so much -- he's got permanent whine marks on his face!
John McGrory
Rancho Santa Margarita, Calif.