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Monday, October 4, 2004
Updated: December 1, 11:20 AM ET
Tangled Up In Blue

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The Bottom 10's inspirational thought of the week:

Broken lines, broken strings,
Broken threads, broken springs,
Broken idols, broken heads,
People sleeping in broken beds.
Ain't no use jiving
Ain't no use joking
Everything is broken.

-- Bob Dylan, "Everything is Broken"

With the release of Dylan's memoirs, it was time to stroll back through memory lane on the Bottom 10 as well. We remember when this fine, little poll used to be reserved for the struggling and wayward of the non-BCS conferences, but nowadays, The Times They Are A-Changin'. We now welcome with open arms teams that used to play in Rose Bowls and SEC Championships.

After last weekend's action, there are five winless Division I-A programs. That's a good thing, considering there were 13 winless last week. So while we send our humble kudos to those who found their way into the win column, we have another problem -- there are 28 teams with only one win each.

But as Mr. Dylan said -- and we believe these songs were written with the Bottom 10 in mind -- If You Gotta Go, Go Now. Farewell.

We head to the Sun Belt for this week's Pillow Fight. Chris, Kirk and Coach don't know what they're missing this week. How often do you get to see Louisiana-Monroe (0-4) visit Idaho (1-4)? Can you imagine Corso picking a mascot head with his pick for the pillow fight winner? Alas, GameDay is heading to Southern California for the Cal-USC game and as Bob Dylan once wrote, It Hurts Me Too. users had plenty to say about the Oct. 4 Bottom 10 ranking.

With apologies to Steve Harvey, here's this week's Bottom 10:'s Bottom 10
 RankTeam2004 Rec.Comment
1.Army0-4"Paths Of Victory": If Army's not more careful, it will accidentally win one like it almost did against TCU and end its reign at the top of the Bottom 10.
2.Louisiana-Monroe0-4"You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go": We fear it's only a matter of time for the Indians. If they don't beat Idaho, someone called Florida International University (and it actually has a football team with real uniforms and everything) comes to town in two weeks.
3.Central Florida0-4"You Ain't Goin' Nowhere": The ceremony is complete. Central Florida is no longer a pledge in the Bottom 10 fraternity. Losing to Buffalo completes the initiation and makes the Golden Knights a Bottom 10 brother.
4.East Carolina0-4"Nothing Was Delivered": East Carolina couldn't have stopped Papa John -- or any other pizza delivery guy, for that matter -- in the blowout loss to Louisville in Papa John's Cardinal Stadium.
5.Oregon's Uniforms0-1"Ugliest Girl In The World": Apparently mirrors weren't included in the Nike contract. But it's what on the inside that counts, right?
6.Temple1-4"Like A Rolling Stone": Giving up 70 at home probably has the folks at the Big East thinking they made the right call asking you to be on your own at the end of the year.
7.Eastern Michigan1-4"Hard Times": The last two losses have come to Idaho and Eastern Illinois. After reading that, Buffalo is wondering how in the heck it lost to the Eagles.
8.Mississippi State1-4"If Dogs Run Free": But these Dogs never seem to run into the end zone as they average only 12 points per game.
9.New Mexico State1-4"Whatcha Gonna Do": Um, try scoring a touchdown? The Aggies have three points in its last eight quarters which isn't exactly a recipe for success.
10.Washington0-4"I'd Hate To Be You On That Dreadful Day": If (When?) the Huskies lose to San Jose State on Saturday, toast your favorite frosty beverage in loving memory of the Keith Gilbertson era in Seattle.

Waiting list: Arkansas State (1-4), Akron (1-4), Ball State (1-4), LSU kickoff return (next time kneel at the 2 so your QB has a little room to move.), Kentucky (1-3), Kent State (1-4), Ohio State (losing to Northwestern?!? You play a tougher team in practice.), and Tulsa (1-4).