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Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Links of the day

By The Intern
Page 2

I don't want to harp on the negative. No need to revisit the Braves' heartbreaking collapse in Game 4, the Falcons squandering a potential career performance from Matt Schaub, or even the unforgivably disappointing Chuck Norris A&E Biography (Rather than focusing on the ridiculous awesomeness of Chuck Norris, the show revolved around the "Walker: Texas Ranger" television special and Chuck's marital life. Even Derrick Coleman didn't waste this much potential.)

Instead, I will describe one extraordinary cab ride. On Saturday night, I had the privilege of being driven around Atlanta by one of the five most knowledgeable basketball minds in the world. Initially, I did not realize this. He just seemed rather sketchy and possibly stoned. But then, for no apparent reason, my friend drunkenly blurted out, "Do you know who this is (in reference to me)?" She then went on to explain that I was The Intern, as if this made me the white Jermaine Dupri of Atlanta. Although I was too busy cringing from being completely lamed out, this actually ended up being a good thing since it got us onto the topic of sports. It went something like this:

Cabbie: "So what do you write about?"
Me: "Pretty much sports in general."
Cabbie: "But everyone's got a specialty. You know, what's your thing?"
Me: "Well, I'd say I'm a basketball guy then."
Cabbie: (excitedly) "Basketball guy, you say?"

From that point on, we had maybe the greatest basketball conversation I have ever been part of. In roughly a fifteen minute span, we covered every trade and free-agent signing from the off-season, the Hawks, Kobe, next year's favorite (he's completely sold on the Heat), the pros and cons of Rafer Alston, what to expect from Stromile in Houston, and everything else you could possibly think of. We might as well have been finishing each other's sentences; our chemistry was that good. Other passengers, street signs, oncoming traffic, the world at large -- these things were secondary; we had found each other. When we arrived at the final destination, I told Basketball Cabbie that he should have a column, gave him a generous tip, and we parted ways. My friend who jokingly lamed me out was staring at me with something in between horror and awe.

I miss him already.

lightningdrink.com -- Steven Seagal continues to pretentiously bring peace and harmony to the world, this time with a revolutionary energy drink. Once again, I would like to point out that this man once played a second-rate battleship cook who single-handedly saves the world from a nuclear disaster.

petitiononline.com -- Petition to save Jake Plummer's now legendary pornstache. Remember that scene in "Terminator 2" where Dr. Dyson allows himself to get blown up inside Cyberdine Systems for the sake of humanity? That's how I view Jake's 'stache. Sometimes you just gotta take one for the team.

nydailynews.com (Carl G.) -- Ian Ziering and Brian Austin Green once again discuss their roles in the upcoming movie "Domino." But the real dirt is at the bottom of the page, which includes the possibility of another reunion episode, Dylan McKay turning 40, and the most unimpressive blurb update of all-time (Tori Spelling, of course).

garygaetti.com (Sam P.; warning -- immediate sound) -- Frighteningly hilarious tribute to all-things Gary Gaetti. See if you can make it all the way to "Friends and Honorary Members," for the Crispin Glover pic alone. This link is a gold-mine.

local6.com -- "If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times. Hacksaw Jim Duggan should not drive buses involved with charity events." -- Brian in Richmond, VA.

sltrib.com -- Andrei Kirilenko wants to paint his clear facemask so that he looks more like a superhero. This man gets it.

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