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Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Updated: November 7, 8:15 PM ET
You can dance if you want to

By David Duffey
ESPN.com

WEEK: Preseason | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Final

The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:

I say, we can dance, we can dance
Everything out of control
We can dance, we can dance
We're doing it from wall to wall
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody look at your hands
We can dance, we can dance
Everybody takin' the cha-a-a-ance

Safety dance
Is it safe to dance
Is it safe to dance


-- Men Without Hats, "Safety Dance"

Safety is very important to the Bottom 10, so we'll make sure to create a secure environment for our teams, which certainly can bust some moves.

Michael Flatley
Michael Flatley isn't the only Lord of the Dance the Bottom 10 recognizes.

But before our Bruin boogies, our Panther gets poppin', our Owls oscillate and Syracuse shakes it, clear the floor for a Bottom 10 spotlight dance featuring our new No. 1 team. Since Notre Dame is the lord of the Bottom 10 dance, expect an Irish jig or something choreographed by Michael Flatley. Parents don't need to worry about any inappropriate material. The Irish haven't done anything remotely offensive this season.

Does Notre Dame deserve the No. 1 spot? Well, the Irish rank 119th in points per game, total yards per game, rushing yards per game and sacks allowed. Notre Dame is the only I-A team with no offensive touchdowns. Among the BCS teams, ND and Syracuse are the only squads without a win this season.

The Irish's 38-0 loss to Michigan ended the Wolverines' two-week dance in the highly coveted No. 5 spot. A replacement partner was easy to find. UCLA can step right in. Previously winless Utah waltzed to a 44-6 win over the previously highly regarded Bruins.

However, UCLA won't get a chance to cut the rug with longtime Bottom 10 dance partner Duke. The Blue Devils beat Northwestern to earn an exit from the ballroom.

There were some other changes, so we'll turn to some "dance" songs to lead us through the latest edition of the Bottom 10.

Have a comment about the Bottom 10 ranking? Send us your thoughts.

So, with apologies to Steve Harvey, here's the Bottom 10:

ESPN.com's Bottom 10
  RANK TEAM RECORD COMMENT
1. Notre Dame 0-3 "Dance On": "It's time 4 new education, the former rules don't apply," sings Prince. That certainly applies when the Irish land here.
2. FIU 0-3 "Same Old Song and Dance": Like Aerosmith sings: "It's the same old story, it's the same old song and dance" for the Panthers, who have lost 15 straight.
3. Temple 0-3 "Dancing in the Dark": "I ain't nothin' but tired, man I'm just tired and bored with myself." Think the Owls can identify with the Boss?
4. Rice 0-3 "Dancing Days": Is Led Zeppelin on the Owls' iPod? After all, "dancing days are here again" for the bunch from Houston.
5. UCLA
2-1 "I Hope You Dance": When given the choice to "sit it out or dance" in Utah, the Bruins didn't take Lee Ann Womack's advice.
6. Marshall 0-3 "Let's Dance": After losing to I-AA New Hampshire, the Thundering Herd should listen to David Bowie and "put on your red shoes and dance the blues."
7. Louisiana-Lafayette 0-3 "Dancing With Myself": The Ragin' Cajuns were scheduled for a UL-U Pick 'em reunion, but a home loss to I-AA McNeese State keeps them in Billy Idol land.
8. Northern Illinois 0-3 "I Can't Dance": Don't know if the Huskies can dance. Or talk. Or sing. But the Genesis of a gridiron revival in DeKalb appears to be a ways off.
9. Syracuse 0-3 "Dance The Night Away": The way things have been going, the Orange might as well "Dance, dance, dance the night away" to Van Halen.
10. San Diego State 0-2 "Dance With The Devil": UB40's song is an instrumental, but could lyrics really help describe the Aztecs' loss to the Sun Devils?

Waiting list: Colorado State (0-2), Louisiana-Monroe (0-3), Middle Tennessee (0-3), North Texas (0-2), San Jose State (0-3), Toledo (0-3), Tulane (0-2), Utah State (0-3) and Western Michigan (0-3).

David Duffey is the college football editor at ESPN.com.