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Monday, October 22, 2007
Need some help finding a GM?

By Jim Baker
Page 2

With so many general manager positions open in baseball, it has come to our attention that the office of the commissioner has helped out its teams by creating a questionnaire designed to streamline the candidate screening process. It covers the essentials that teams would want to know about their applicants: qualifications, desire, philosophy and objectives. It is reprinted here for the first time:

Official Major League

G E N E R A L M A N A G E R A P P L I C A T I O N F O R M

Background

From which Ivy League school did you matriculate?
(Note: the following colleges are not to be characterized as Ivy League: Vineland Community College, Poison Ivy State, Creeping Vine School of Vegetation Control)

Are you from a celebrated baseball family? If so, which one and how are you related?

Have you read "Moneyball," or was it necessary to have another person read it to you and explain its more salient points? If so, who was that person?

Which of these statements best describes your greatest asset?

Work Ethic

With which of the following statements do you most agree?

How many hours per week are you willing to work?

Which of these statements best describes your attitude about days off?

A close friend or relative has died and you are expected to attend the funeral services. Which of the following will you do?

Which phrase below best fits your description of the "offseason"?

Critical Thinking

You are strolling along an enchanted river when you come to a bridge guarded by an evil troll. The troll says you may cross the bridge if you outbid the other people also trying to cross. You notice there is nobody else trying to cross, yet the evil troll wants you to keep raising your bid anyway. Do you:

You are shepherding a flock of magical beasts in an enchanted pasture when one of the older ones leaps the fence into a neighbor's property on the promise of better grazing. Do you:

You are walking through an enchanted forest, guiding your two cows to the slaughterhouse. You are approached by a goblin who offers you a trade: your two cows, ready for slaughter, in exchange for a magical tree which will not bear fruit for another two years. What do you tell the goblin? (In 50 words or less, please.)

You are the ruler of an enchanted land and are approached by a wise old wizard who tells you of a fair maiden who he insists will make for you a wonderful wife. He describes her beautiful face and body, and says he has seen her perform great feats that would make her ideal for matrimony. A young wizard in your court shows you a parchment that compares this particular fair maiden to other maidens in the kingdom, and shows that she is no better than average. Do you:

Personal Goals

How do you respond to failure?

Where do you see yourself in five years?

What is the most important goal of this position?