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Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Updated: November 14, 11:02 AM ET
When people write, A-Rod has all the answers

By Gene Wojciechowski
ESPN.com

Hi, Everybody!

Thanks for "surfing" to AROD.com, the official Web site of me, Alex Rodriguez. It's been a hectic time for myself, my super great wife Cynthia, my super great daughter Natasha, and my super great agent Mr. Scott Boras, or, as he likes to be called, "Arch-fiend" or "Hider of the Light."

So let's "check out" my "Ask Alex" mailbag. Wow, it's really full of questions from you super great fans!

Alex Rodriguez
Alex Rodriguez is looking out for his next team.

Well, first of all, I think kids are the future of this fantastic country. I just wanted to say that. As far as the other thing, well, it sounds like you were a victim of some bad newspaper reporting. I never use the phrase, "100 percent." One of the New York tabloids probably twisted my quotes around. That happens a lot to me.


Wow, Hank, you really did your research. I'm going to have to talk to the master about leaving that on there.

Bottom line: I'm a human being, just like you. Well, not exactly like you. I'm probably taller, much more handsome, and make more in one at-bat against the Royals than you do in a year. Yes, I said I was committed to being a Yankee. Out of fairness to you guys -- the greatest fans in the world -- I shouldn't have been so definitive. But it was a one-time thing, a very rare moment when I let my love for those Yankee pinstripes overwhelm me.


Those are some pretty super impressive computer skills, downloading and all. So congratulations on that.

To answer your question, I am absolutely sincere about wanting to stay in New York. In fact, I was just telling Omar Minaya that very thing as he peeled the skin off fresh Moroccan grapes and fed them to me individually on a gold sorbet spoon.


How many "Ask Alex" e-mails did you send, big fella? Apparently a super lot. But you're right, it didn't work out there. It wasn't my fault. The outfield fences were too far away.


Those were some dark days. The important thing is that I made a lot of cash and got the hell out of there after the 2003 season.


Ranger ... Mariner ... Yankee ... whoever pays me what I demand -- same thing.


You again, huh?

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Mr. Arch-Fiend and me have this debate all the time. I say it's about winning championships, mostly because it sounds good during TV interviews and I can give them my Phil Mickelson "earnest" look. But Mr. Boras says it's about deception, manipulation and bleeding every possible dollar and concession out of a franchise. He always tells me, "Alex, when will you finally understand that you can't deposit a World Series ring into an offshore account?"

And I don't have to tell you how the latest federal tax codes make it harder for a working man to hold on to his paycheck.


I meant no disrespect, but let's face it, I make a lot of scratch and have a very busy schedule. Somebody had to let the cable guy in that day.


Because that wouldn't be fair to the other super great teams like the Los Angeles Angels of the greater Anaheim/Fullerton area, or the Los Angeles Dodgers, or the New York Mets, or some "mystery" teams that Mr. Boras invents to create false demand.


Joe is a great manager, and if he thought batting the future career MLB home run leader in the godforsaken eighth spot gave us the best chance to win that series, then I'm all for it. Anyway, for $350 million, I'll clean out whale blowholes at Sea World.


First of all, Hank, this is getting a little creepy. Second, I pride myself in being a role model for the youth of the world. Is it my fault she wanted to borrow the Gideon's Bible from my hotel room?


The Bronx ... L.A. ... Flushing -- same thing.


Well, they gave me no choice, especially after word leaked about their lowball offer of between $125 million-$150 million for five years. I mean, c'mon. Next thing you know they would have bumped my traveling pedicurist from the team charter.


What I meant to add is, "And pays me $350 million."

Uh-oh, looks like someone's been shopping at the same T-shirt store as Cynthia. (LOL.)

Gene Wojciechowski is the senior national columnist for ESPN.com. You can contact him at gene.wojciechowski@espn3.com. He co-authored Jerome Bettis' autobiography, "The Bus: My Life In and Out of a Helmet," which is available now.