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Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Welcome to the (Bottom 10) jungle

By David Duffey

WEEK: Preseason | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Bye | 12 | 13

The Bottom 10 inspirational thoughts of the week:

Welcome to the jungle
It gets worse here everyday
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play
If you got a hunger for what you see
You'll take it eventually
You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me

-- "Welcome To The Jungle," Guns N' Roses

After 17 years, Guns N' Roses finally released their new album. It was a long wait between 1991's Use Your Illusion I and II" and "Chinese Democracy" for GNR fans. It's been a long wait for fans of Washington and Notre Dame, too.

The Huskies, who solidified their No. 1 status with a 16-13 pillow-fight loss in double overtime to former No. 2 Washington State, are at 13 games and counting since their most recent win. Washington heads into Saturday's meeting with Cal only one loss from Bottom 10 perfection.

The appetite for destruction reached a new high in South Bend, which was no paradise city for the Irish on Saturday. Not only did Notre Dame lose to Bottom 10 regular Syracuse, but the Irish players also were pelted with a November rain of snowballs -- from their own student section.

The Irish have nothing to fear in the Bottom 10. The only thing the Bottom 10 will hurl in their direction is a hearty congratulations on returning to the highly coveted No. 5 spot.

However, Notre Dame might have something to fear when it heads to Los Angeles to meet USC on Saturday (ESPN, 8 p.m. ET). On a positive note, if ND loses to the Trojans and falls to 6-6, maybe the Irish won't make a bowl game. That way ND's bowl losing streak won't be extended to 10 games.

Your wait is over for the Bottom 10. Guns N' Roses will rock you through the Week 13 edition.

Have a comment about the Bottom 10 ranking? Send us your thoughts.

So, with apologies to Steve Harvey, here's the Bottom 10:'s Bottom 10
1. Washington 0-11 "Knockin' On Heaven's Door:" The Huskies are knock-knock-knockin' on the door to Bottom 10 immortality. With one more loss, they will complete a perfect winless season.
2. SMU 1-10 "Use Your Illusion I:" If June Jones closes his eyes and tries real hard, maybe he can convince himself he's back in Hawaii soaking in the sun.
3. North Texas 1-10 "Use Your Illusion II:" If Todd Dodge closes his eyes and tries real hard, maybe he can convince himself he's back at Southlake Carroll soaking in the run to another title.
4. Western Kentucky 2-9 "You Ain't The First:" The Hilltoppers aren't the first independent to make the Bottom 10. Nor are they the last. Need proof? See below.
5. Notre Dame 6-5 "November Rain:" It's been raining losses for the Irish in November. If their 1-3 record this month isn't bad enough, a shower of snowballs directed at them from the student section during the Syracuse loss made it worse.
6. Iowa State 2-10 "Welcome To The Jungle:" We're not sure how the Cyclones have escaped the Bottom 10's attention this long. But those 10 straight losses make them a welcome addition.
7. Tulane 2-9 "Breakdown:" Since a two-game winning streak in September, the Green Wave experienced a breakdown, losing seven straight games.
8. Eastern Michigan 2-9 "Paradise City:" Not sure if Ypsilanti could be considered a paradise city or not, but the Eagles have struggled there and on the road.
9. Miami (Ohio) 2-9 "There Was A Time:" The RedHawks used to be good. Remember when Ben Roethlisberger took them to the MAC title in 2003?
10. Michigan 3-9 "Appetite For Destruction:" The Wolverines set some records only the Bottom 10 could love: most losses ever in a season, a fifth straight loss to Ohio State and the largest loss to the Buckeyes in 40 years.

Waiting list: Idaho (2-10), Indiana (3-9), Kent State (3-8), New Mexico State (3-8), UAB (3-8), Utah State (2-9).

David Duffey is the college football editor at