Saturday, December 27, 2008
Going Too Far
Okay, here's the deal. Surfers have got to stop doing stuff like this:
Look, once again, I am by no means disregarding the inherent fitness value of Stand Up Paddle boards. I'm in the process of having one shaped myself. Given the exercise choice of cruising a glassy bay on an SUP, or watching sweaty dudes bench-pressing to Nickelback, I'll take the paddle any day.
But really Stand Up Paddle skateboarding? As if skaters need another reason to rag on surf culture. That's a great U2 song, but I can see Bono filing a lawsuit right now on principle alone.
Dudes ride SUP boards to keep in shape when the surf is flat. Your other option (and probably the better one) is do some kick turns and grinds at the local skate park. If you're really desperate, you can bomb hills. Lots of surfers fish. Some dive. Some are really good at Nintendo.
One of the classics.
Here are a few things you can do if the urge to Stand Up Paddle skate should strike:
Design yourself a super-cool, resin tinted bonzer or fish like the ones over at Surfy Surfy.
Download some old Dinosaur Jr.
Explore the psychology of surfing with my friend, Dr. Bill Rosenblatt at Surfing the Waves of Life.
Go out and pick up every Jack in the Box wrapper from your local beach.
Hell, winters here. Take the money your grandmother gave you on Thursday and buck up for a lift ticket at Big Bear or Mountain Creek.
Mountain Creek, basically one big terrain park. No paddle reqired.
Check out the gritty city happenings at Shipworm&Gribble.
Visit Phoresia.org and get yourself all learned up on the philosophy of more conscious surfing.
It's natural to want to mimic the act of carving a wave. But under what circumstances do you decide to mimic the act of SUP? Please don't propel yourself around the neigborhood with a stick. That's what dogs are for.