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Monday, June 8, 2009
Updated: June 15, 12:57 PM ET
Parko and Bullet Tooth


Tell me they couldn't be brothers.
Back in December, I was talking to Parko about the fact that the Triple Crown is still so relevant in pro surfing. But the whole time, I kept thinking, "Man, this dude reminds me of somebody."

"It's not as if it's a tin of baked beans? What do you mean 'open him up.'"

This month, HBO is running one of my Top 5 Favorite Movies — Snatch. It fits somewhere between Big Wednesday and Clerks. Guy Ritchie is a genius. Retired British soccer player turned actor, Vinnie Jones plays an unfllinching street man. His first role was in Ritchie's Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. Of course, he's played other parts and done some music, but Bullet Tooth Tony was easily the coolest.

Anyway, the other night, it hit me just how much Jones looks like Parko.

While both are great athletes, Parko's a family man and the model of sportsmanship. Jones was known to grab opponents literally by the sack and has been in some highly publicized bar brawls.

Parko could play a pretty good hitman, I bet.

Plus, Parko is younger, more flexible, and seems a lot nicer guy. (And still holds that number one spot in the world right now.)

Either way, next time I see Parko, I'm going to ask him to say, "You can call me Susan if it makes you 'appy."