Friday, July 17, 2009 Updated: June 15, 12:39 PM ET
Some Stuff to Do on the Right Side
Go get 'em Buckaroo.
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you will please turn your attention to the big top tent. We now present the suntanned, jet-ski enhanced, high-flying, nose-riding, fake-boobied, blues-playing spectacular of the US Open."
Yes, all eyes will be on the Open this week, including the World Pro Surfing All Stars, as they play golf, sign autographs, and get whipped at oncoming HB burgers. It promises to be more fun than a raucous crowd setting a jeep on fire.
But if you're on the Right Coast, some 3,000 miles away, there are a few more subtle, toned-down events you might be interested in.
Tomorrow in Ocean City, New Jersey is the CSF Surf Rodeo. This is always a good time, particularly because you don't know which board you are riding. Now in it's seventh year, surfers have no idea if they will get some quick little retro fish or some aged brown pig. (One year, I had to surf a Hawaiian singlefin gun in one-foot slop.) Either way, it's hysterical and always a good time. 7th St. Beach in O.C., start time is 8 a.m.
Cookout and Board Exchange at the Mollusk. No cutoff jeans allowed.
Then on Sunday, you can grab the beater that's been taking up space in your garage, bring it to Brooklyn and see if your trashed board is another man's treasure at the Mollusk Surf Shop, NYC (210 Kent Ave.) Board Exchange and Cookout.
Now, most of the time, when you bring your used stick to a shop, they either give you slim store credit toward a new board or a pitiful amount (kinda like a used car.) But at this event, not only can you grab a burger off the grill, but you get 100% Phylum Molluska store credit for whatever your board fetches.
It's also a good chance to see what gems are floating around between the L.E.S. and Long Beach these days. Boards start swapping at 9. The fire starts around 1 pm.
Stroke. Stroke. Stroke.
Then, of course, in Florida, you have the 13th Annual East Coast Paddle Board Championships at Ponce Inlet. $25 for all the shoulder burning pain you can handle (and a t-shirt.) The poster claims that Ponce is the paddling capital of the East Coast, but that was clearly claimed by someone who has never surfed the Outer Banks on a hurricane swell. Talk about your noodle arms.
The race starts at 9 a.m., though racers should probably be there a little earlier. The gun goes off in front of 4469 S. Atlantic Ave and heads to the North side of Sun Glow Pier and back, for a distance of 6.5 miles. Race concludes with a beach sprint finish.
There are a whole slew of divisions for men, wahines, race board class sizes, and stand-up, including the Waterman's United Solidarity Stand Up Paddlers or WUSSUP (okay, I just made that up.)
Have a good weekend.