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Saturday, January 23, 2010
Updated: January 25, 1:46 PM ET
You too can have your lawn look like Fenway Park


Fenway Park
Want your lawn to look like this? You can. Maybe.

From the Department of Ideas That Sound Good Until You Think Them Through, we bring you the following update: Major League Baseball and lawn care company Scotts soon will be selling ballpark-grade grass seed.

Which means your front yard could sport the same ryegrass/Kentucky bluegrass mix used at Wrigley Field. Or Fenway Park. Or Busch Stadium.

Pretty cool, right? Pastoral splendor in every bag? A emerald jewel to make your neighbors green -- get it? Green, like grass! -- with envy?

Er, not so fast.

Here's the thing about good-looking major-league turf: it looks good due to major-league work. Think a head groundskeeper (you). Think full-time staff. Think interns. Think waking up at 6 a.m. every morning to mow your lawn both ways.

Think water, and lots of it. Like, golf course-level utility bills.

Want a cool pattern cut into your lawn, like the curly "W" at Nationals Park in Washington, D.C.? You'll need a $50,000 sit-down mower with five independent blade rollers. And a plastic template. Oh, and since Mother Nature isn't on your new Yard Team payroll, you're gonna need tarp. Plus high-tech radar to know when to use the tarp.

Still, don't take our word for it. Ask Nicole Sherry, Baltimore's head groundskeeper.

"[People ask me], 'How can I get my lawn to look like that?'" she told MLB.com in 2007. "Well, if you want to put in 80 hours a week, you can get it done. But unfortunately, it's still probably going to look like your neighbor's down the street."

To put things another way: major-league seed is a product only Brett Favre could love.