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Welcome to the Weekly Best, a look at the best in sports, pop culture and wife-swapping Yankees.
Best things in life: Are free.
Best place for a tattoo: On someone else.
Best Olympic sports: The ones without judges.
Best athlete in the history of Fairfield (Conn.) Prep: Chris Drury.
Best place to see the Vatican's top 10 list of all-time rock albums: Right here.
Best album on the list: "Thriller" by Michael Jackson.
Best guess as to why Madonna didn't make the Vatican cut: She brought shame to the name of Jesus' mother -- oh, and she makes terrible music.
Best Olympic hockey hit: Ovechkin on Jagr.
Best job clearing out cap space to make a run at LeBron James: The Knicks.
Best Olympian sour grapes: "I was positive that I won, but I saw that Evan [Lysacek] needs a medal more than I do. Maybe because I already have one." -- Russian figure skater Evgeni Plushenko
Best partner for ice dancing: Your sister?
Best wife-swapping story finally coming to the big screen: "The Trade," about Yankees pitchers Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich, who traded wives (and children) in the 1970s.
Best director for that project: Apparently Ben Affleck, a Red Sox fan.
Best band ever, according to Stanford football coach Jim Harbaugh: Hootie & the Blowfish.
Best new use of the Lou Reed song "Perfect Day": The AT&T commercial starring snowboarder Gretchen Bleiler.
Best known to me before this as: The song playing when Ewan McGregor overdoses in "Trainspotting."
Best single-season NFL touchdown total: 31, LaDainian Tomlinson, 2006.
Best time to grow a beard: When you're newly unemployed, like Conan O'Brien and LaDainian Tomlinson.
Best American Olympian sent home for letting a girl bite his medal: Snowboarder Scotty Lago.
Best reason the United States' win over Canada wasn't such a huge hockey upset: We play with NHL players, too.
Best magazine coming out of bankruptcy: Reader's Digest.
Best temper your expectations, Buckeyes fans: Adam Griffin, son of two-time Heisman Trophy winner Archie, has committed to play football for Ohio State.
Best first impression: Not Antawn Jamison, who went 0-for-12 in his Cavaliers debut.
Best place to find the University of Richmond men's basketball team: In the Top 25 for the first time since 1986.
Best priorities: Robert Guerrero has vacated his IBF junior lightweight title to be with his wife during her battle with leukemia.
Best sale price ever on the Holy Grail of comic books: $1 million for a 1938 edition of Action Comics No. 1, which introduced Superman.
Best reflection of what's going through the mind of MMA fighter Frank Mir: "I want to fight [Brock] Lesnar. I hate who he is as a person. I want to break his neck in the ring. I want him to be the first person that dies due to Octagon-related injuries. That's what's going through my mind." -- Mir on WXDX radio in Pittsburgh
Best policy: Honesty?
Best golfer last week: Ian Poulter, winner of the Accenture Match Play Championship.
Best golfer 'til further notice: Not Tiger Woods.
Best ditch that get-up altogether: Even without the face paint, these Russian ice dancers still offended Aborigines with their outfits.
Best look-alike for that male Russian ice dancer: Actor Colin Firth.
Best bet to get his shot blocked in the SEC: Vanderbilt's A.J. Ogilvy.
Best new role for Ogilvy and his frosted tips: Villain in the next Bruce Willis movie.
Best decision Jamere Holland has ever made: The Oregon wide receiver posted a profanity-laced tirade against the coaching staff for dismissing Kristian "Kiko" Alonso from the team for an alleged DUI.
Best news for Kristian "Kiko" Alonso: He wasn't actually dismissed from the team, although he since has been suspended for the 2010 season.
Best news for Jamere Holland's backup: Holland was dismissed from the team after coaches learned of his Facebook rant.
Best-laid plans of mice and men: Often go awry.
Best trip for a Raiders fan: The inaugural Raider Cruise.
Best perk on the Raider Cruise: An open-bar cocktail party with Jack Tatum, Fred Biletnikoff, Kenny Stabler, Tim Brown and others.
Best double that life-insurance policy: A Raider Cruise? You'd probably be safer on a sailboat off the coast of Somalia.
Cam Martin is a contributor to Page 2. He previously worked for the Greenwich (Conn.) Time and The (Stamford, Conn.) Advocate, and has written online for CBS Sports and Comcast SportsNet New England. You can contact him at email@example.com.
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