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Thursday, December 2, 2010
U.S. devastated by World Cup site announcement

Russia and Qatar
Russia will host the 2018 World Cup, and Qatar gets the 2022 event. How will U.S. sports fans survive?

How will American sports fans possibly survive on a diet of NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL, college sports, high school sports, NASCAR, boxing, MMA, action sports, tennis, golf, UFL, arena league, televised poker, semi-pro leagues, WWE, WW-whatever Ric Flair and Hogan are doing these days, bass fishing, the spawn and spirit of Barbaro, competitive eating, competitive cheerleading, competitive spelling bee, surfing, Gumball rallies, Wii Sports, bow-hunting, Golden Tee, putt-putt, "Halo"-playing, track and field, swimming, handball starring Jake Plummer, legal dog racing, legal dog shows, illegal dog fighting, illegal street racing, lingerie football, Puppy Bowl, cup-stacking, texting, real-life Quiddich, ping-pong, beer pong, billiards, "Madden Nation," barbecue brawls, backyard wrestling, "Street Fighter IV," YouTube street fighting, diving into mud to hand-fight giant catfish (thanks, E:60!) and MLS alone?

You maniacs! You blew up 2022! Damn you, FIFA!