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Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Updated: January 27, 10:01 AM ET
Please don't go, Ochocinco

I can't believe I'm saying this, but Chad Ochocinco should keep his surname. He might think changing his name will only affect him, but there are many other things and people that will suffer with his new (well, old) moniker. Ochocinco should think about those who might be upset because of his actions -- however silly they are.

-- His fiancee, Evelyn Lozada, was probably just becoming comfortable with the initials E.L.O. They have a certain ring to them, and they would work well in the tabloids. E.L.J just isn't as sexy. I also hope she hasn't started printing wedding invitations.

-- What will become of the exceptional piece of programming that is the T.Ocho show? The T.O'Johnson show sounds like bad Irish public access television. I'm sure cable providers will lament this name change.

-- The Latino community most likely has a bone to pick with Ochocinco also. First he trashes their language and misspells 85. Then just when the community was starting to accept Esteban Ochocinco, he tosses out the name on a whim. Basura!

-- Ochocinco is a brand. Changing his name is similar to changing the Gap to the Space Between. It just doesn't work. Sponsors signed up for the Ochocinco brand, and spots like that crazy pistachio commercial he stars in don't work with a plain name like Johnson.

-- When he first changed his name to Ochocinco, he had to stick with Johnson for the 2008 season because of contractual obligations with Reebok. What contractual obligations will pop up this time?

-- Who is going to pay to make all those new jerseys? With a looming lockout, the NFL says it doesn't have funds to pay players, so surely the league won't entertain funding name changes on a jersey.

-- What will become of his Twitter handle? Will his followers remember?

-- Sports journalism interns everywhere will be scolded for using the wrong last name.

I hope this list makes Chad, Ochocinco, Johnson, Esteban -- whatever he wants to be called -- realize this name change isn't just about him.