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|Presumptive athletes should know their Kardashian mathematics equations, and our test will check.|
This is a test any young athlete might enjoy taking as long as it was graded on a curve -- a very steep curve.
Each of the 300-plus athletes going through the 2011 NFL combine in Indianapolis will be required to take a version of the Wonderlic Contemporary Cognitive Ability Test -- a 50-question, 12-minute exam that gives more than 600 personnel executives from teams around the league some idea of just how bright these young warriors are.
But they should see our test, comprised of questions submitted by you. Your questions ranged from the legitimate -- "What is the three-dimensional shape of a football?" (prolate spheroid) from Mike S. of Chicago -- to a question stolen from a fifth-grade aptitude test -- "Name the eight planets in order from the sun" from Peggy C. of Oviedo, Fla.
Uh, Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars and, uh, those really big planets. Hey, it's been a long time since I was in the fifth grade.
But we wanted odd -- and you delivered. Get out your pencils and take the following test to see how you would do:
Top 10 Oddest Wonderlic Questions for 2011
10. "If your average relationship lasts 4.5 months, how many months would it take to date all of the Kardashian sisters?" from Mark M. of Apopka, Fla.
9. "If Terry Bradshaw can't spell 'c-a-t' and won four Super Bowls while Chad Pennington is smart but hasn't won any, what does that make Cade McNown?" from Ben M. of Peoria, Ill.
8. "If Train A heads south at 85 mph and Train B heads north at 130 mph, considering air resistance, how much will James Harrison be fined when they collide?" from Brian B. of Muskego, Wis.
7. "What is a fibula? A -- A bone in your leg; B -- A knot in your thigh; C -- A small lie," from Jack F. of Falls Church, Va.
6. "If an owner makes $30 million on ticket sales and $50 million on shared TV money but spends $100 million on JaMarcus Russell, how long will it take for the owner to realize he wrecked a once-storied franchise?" from Matt M. of Paramus, N.J.
5. "If a quarterback falls on everyone's draft board but nobody is around to hear him fall, does he make a sound?" from Mike M. of Wilmington, Del.
4. "With an annual income of $4 million and the following monthly payments -- $15,000 for your crew, $5,000 to par-tay, $25,000 for mansion mortgage, $10,000 for car payments, $10,000 for legal fees, $20,000 for clothes and jewelry, $200 for child support -- how many months after retirement before you declare bankruptcy?" from Kyle I. of Amarillo, Texas.
3. "If you have $3,000 in cash and the 10 ladies in the 'champagne room' of the local strip club require $100 each for a dance, who will you blame when the security guard is shot?" from Tim R. of Grand Junction, Colo.
2. "If a player starts his career with 100 percent cognitive ability and loses 3 percent after each concussion, how much cognitive ability will be left after his 12th concussion? A -- 100 percent; B -- 3 percent; C -- 74 percent; D -- the same as a tomato," from Ben S. of Appleton, Wis.
1. "How do you spell 'Wonderlic'?" from Dave H. of Toledo.
Now that's a test that an athlete can understand. The problem would be finding an NFL official who would know how to grade it.
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