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Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Updated: March 3, 3:40 PM ET
Page 2's Lakers-Celtics show tunes

By DJ Gallo
Page 2

A new play that will chronicle the lives of Hall of Famers Larry Bird and Magic Johnson called "Magic/Bird" is scheduled to debut on Broadway in 2012. The story will trace the stars' rivalry and friendship from their days as NBA rookies to their appearance on the Olympic Dream Team in 1992.

The playwright, Eric Simonson, also wrote another sports-themed production, "Lombardi," the story of Green Bay Packers coach Vince Lombardi, which is currently running on Broadway.

But Page 2 doesn't believe one mere play can encompass the Lakers-Celtics rivalry. It should take over all the old Broadway standbys. Fire up the show tunes and see if you agree.

• Click here for the second set of plays

(Sample lyrics, sung to the tune of "525,600 Minutes.")

525,600 fouls, how do you measure

Rambis' worth?

In rebounds, in free throws,

in put-backs, in tape on glasses.

In scoring, in blocks, in assists,

in taking a charge.

In 525,600 fouls --

how do you measure Rambis' life?



(Sample lyrics, sung to the tune of "Maria.")

Michael Cooper!

I just got a guy named Michael Cooper,

And suddenly our game

Will never be the same

On D.

Michael Cooper!

I just got a guy named Michael Cooper

And suddenly I've found

We're defensively sound

As can be!



(Sample lyrics, sung to the tune of "Aquarius / Let The Sunshine In.")

When the McHale is in the low post

And The Chief is very far

The offense will try to score there

But the armpits will block their stars!

This is the dawning of the D from his armpit hair

Kevin McHale's armpit hair

Armpit Hair! Armpit Hair!



(Sample lyrics, sung by the A.C. Green character after finally finding his favorite brand
of hair grease at Walgreens after a long search.)

You're the one that I want (You are the one I want)

Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!

The one that I want. (You are the one I want)

Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!

The one I need.

Oh, yes indeed!



(Sample lyrics, sung to the tune of "Beauty & The Beast.")

Tale as old as time

Song as old as rhyme

Magic and Larry



• Click here for the second set of plays


Illustrations by Kurt Snibbe.


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