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Wednesday, April 13, 2011
LeBron James & Co. are Heatles indeed!

By Adam Reisinger
Special to Page 2

Earlier this season, LeBron James compared his Miami Heat to the Beatles for their ability to draw large crowds in opponents' arenas.

"I see we sell out 99.1 percent on the road, so we call ourselves the Heatles off the Beatles," James said Jan. 3. "So every time we take our show on the road we bring a great crowd."

Who are we at Page 2 to argue? Especially when it allows us to spoof perhaps the greatest album cover ever, "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," with a decidedly NBA flavor.


Heatles

How many of the 80 revised figures can you name? (Five others are unchanged because of space constraints, and two blank spots from the original have been left intact.) See our clues below, and click go to the answers page after you've exhausted your eyeballs.


SgtBeatles cover

• Click here to see a larger image of the Heatles album cover

• Click here to cheat and go directly to the answers


1 -- Largely responsible for assembling the Heatles

2 -- Inside nemesis of Heat in 2006; late-arriving Heatle this season

3 -- "Queen of Akron"

4 -- The Association's leader in sartorial splendor

5 -- Signed illegal contract with Heat in '90s; returned as Heatle this season

6 -- This Heatle won the 2011 All-Star 3-point contest

7 -- The only rookie Heatle

8 -- This Heatle will always have something he can hold over Derrick Rose

9 -- Free this Heatle!

10 -- Canada's gift to Miami by way of UNLV

11 -- This Heatle was exiled to Beantown

12 -- (blank spot on original cover)

13 -- Heatles anxiously await his return

14 -- Former Hornets All-Star turned backup Heatle

15 -- Former NBA Rookie of the Year on the roster NOT named LeBron

16 -- This newest Heatle was the No. 2 overall pick in the 1998 NBA draft

17 -- It's bad news for NBA fans if he grows a beard in September

18 -- He's a bear on defense

19 -- Sharpshooting poet

20 -- This rival coach said, "It's not all Miami and New York. I know to ESPN it is, but to the rest of us, we actually think some of the rest of the teams matter."

21 -- The redheaded former Celtics legend (no, not Walton)

22 -- LeBron now signs a portion of this legend's paychecks

23 -- MVP! MVP! MVP! (to everyone except John Hollinger)

24 -- He raffled off what the Heatles hope to win this year

25 -- This Heat Dancer's favorite movie is "Top Gun." Hey, we never said this quiz was gonna be easy

26 -- This guy gets buckets

27 -- His pro career easily outlasted those of college teammates Keith Van Horn and Michael Doleac

28 -- Florida's current Superman

29 -- Defensive guru drew up blueprint for three wins over Heatles

30 -- Florida's (and LA's and Phoenix's and Cleveland's) former Superman

31 -- Put Chris Bosh on the most popular poster in Detroit

32 -- He's No. 1 in New York …

33 -- … and he's No. 1a (or No. 7)

34 -- Heatles huddle-crasher

35 -- Former Heatle lighting it up in Oaktown

36 -- Deron Williams launched him into Internet fame

37 -- He isn't a role model, but he likes doughnuts (wink)

38 -- This Heat Dancer's dream job is being CEO of an accounting firm

39 -- The cornerstone in Mikhail Prokhorov's blueprint for success

40 -- Forget the Heat; this guy thinks the Lakers are soft

41 -- 2011 NBA slam dunk champion

42 -- Stood up to the Heat AND Charlie Villanueva

43 -- He hated the Heat before it was cool (since, oh, June 2006 or so)

44 -- Former Miami (Ohio) star has no shortage of consonants

45 -- He said, "There's a lot of fake tough guys in this league and [Chris Bosh]'s one of them."

46 -- Gilbert Arenas got out of town so this guy could drop 38 on Miami

47 -- Gilbert Arenas once defecated in this poor guy's shoe

48 -- He said, "If things don't straighten out here soon, it could be the Van Gundy thing all over again."

49 -- Allegedly scored 39 against Heat, but the tapes were confiscated

50 -- Threw a punch at Big Z

51 -- He scored 46 points -- including 11 in the final 28 seconds of regulation -- in overtime win against Heat

52 -- Took his talents to the NBA long before LeBron took his to South Beach

53 -- Mr. Big Shot is part of his own Big … 2½?

54 -- Coined the term "Ceatles" in 2008

55 -- The Daily Dime Live-inspired version of Eddy Curry

56 -- No. 4 overall pick in 2003 NBA draft

57 -- No. 5 overall pick in 2003 NBA draft

58 -- (unchanged -- space too small)

59 -- First NBA head coach of Filipino heritage is actually older than Juwan Howard.

60 -- No. 1 overall pick in 2003 NBA draft

61 -- We swear he played for the Heat this season! Really!

62 -- He said, "There's no secret that myself and Chris and LeBron are all good friends. We all came into this league together and played together."

63 -- He said, "There are a couple of guys crying in the locker room."

64 -- He said, "In this fall, this is very tough, in this fall I'm going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Heat."

65 -- He said, "I'm a winner, Dwyane's a winner and we're going to bring winning to Miami."

66 -- LeBron's 2009 playoff nemesis returned to Florida this year

67 -- She bought LeBron a Hummer H2 for his 18th birthday

68 -- (blank spot on original cover)

69 -- (unchanged -- space too small)

70 -- Has this former "FlashForward" star seen future of Heatles?

71 -- He wrote, "I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER 'KING' WINS ONE"

72 -- Former No. 2 overall pick, exiled to Minnesota

73 -- The creator of Ascot Friday

74 -- (unchanged -- space too small)

75 -- "You're better than that"

76 -- Every player should get one of these on his 26th birthday

77 -- Mr. Double-Double

78 -- The former Cav who didn't use a one-hour special to take his talents to South Beach

79 -- We wonder how James Jones got this home from L.A. in February

80 -- Jameerkat Manor

81 -- This instrument's head has been slightly modified from the original cover

82 -- (unchanged -- space too small)

83 -- (unchanged -- space too small)

84 -- Can he still be kryptonite in Thunder blue?

85 -- A pumpkin with David Stern's autograph on it

86 -- This Rocket listed "basketball" as his hobby on his player bio at Villanova

87 -- The Heatles' ultimate goal


• Click here to reveal the answers


Adam Reisinger is an editor for ESPN.com.


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