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Wednesday, April 13, 2011
SSX: Deadly Descents


Our friends over at the ESPN gaming blog posted a video this morning about the making of the new "SSX: Deadly Descents" snowboarding video game by EA Sports. The new SSX hasn't been released yet, so we thought we'd take a look and see what it's all about.

Now... I realize that saying "it's not very realistic," as I am about to do, is like complaining that the half-orc, half-elf character in the Dungeons & Dragons game you're playing is so stupid, because clearly an orc and an elf would never get together. Duh.

So the snowboarders can do double-handed suitcase grabs while executing multiple front flips off snake-run bank walls. Okay, we'll give you that. In the realm of fantasy, that's kind of cool. And you had me on the massive one-foot airs, until your character started pulling Jeremy Jones style snowboard spins, too -- on a snowboard that has highbacks and strap bindings.

That's like a first-level magic user trying to pull a twelfth-level Wizard spell, okay? Even in made-up worlds where anything's possible, you have to follow some basic rules. Otherwise it's just anarchy.

Obviously people like this game, or it wouldn't keep getting upgraded and re-released. And someone whose idea of a fun romp through cyber playland involves an arcade joystick and a car race through the world of Tron probably shouldn't be writing any critiques on gaming. What do I know about "x" and "o" buttons? Not a lot. But then there's the girl -- it's like they got her riding style by copying an early-90s halfpipe competition video. And to this I say: Really guys? Really? You can program your characters to bomb drop out of helicopters, but you can't make your female snowboarder bend her knees?

*Sigh* Maybe they're still working the kinks out?