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Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Updated: May 5, 10:22 AM ET
Readers come up with horse names

By Jerry Greene
Special to Page 2

With only the slightest of apologies to the men and women who named actual contenders such as Dialed In and Uncle Mo for Saturday's 137th running of the Kentucky Derby, they can't touch you for cool names for a race horse.

Not even Pants On Fire, Archarcharch and Mucho Macho Man -- also actual Derby horses -- can't compete with your best. As we do each year, we asked you to give us race horse names that had a sports connection. We also demanded that you obey one actual rule for naming a thoroughbred -- the name may not be longer than 18 characters although words can be run together "likethis."

Before we can get to the top 10 list culled from hundreds of entries, we must note that many of you recognized our request for a sports connection and politely ignored it in order to salute the major news of the week. We understand, so here are a few "honorable mentions" that fall into a special small list of their own:

• "Osama Bin Hidin'" by Kyle M. of Scottsville, Ky.

• "10yrwaitworthitUSA" by Bobby H. of "Good Old USA."

• "OsamaBinDeadaWeek" by Tom M. of San Antonio.

All worthy names and it would not surprise us to see some 2-year-old thoroughbreds hitting the tracks next year with names similar to these. But they are not part of our actual list, so imagine hearing the following names being called during the "fastest two minutes in sports."

Top 10 sports-related 'Kentucky Derby' names

10. "Tressel'sTatParlor" by Natalie Y. of Cleveland.

9. "KissedByKardashian" by Ed P. of Tillson, N.Y.

8. "Technical Foal" by Lisa A. of Benson, N.C.

7. "Melo Dramatic" by Bill P. of Tualatin, Ore.

6. "FiestaBowlFreebie" by Jason C. of Phoenix.

5. "ThisVestDon'tLie" by Jeff H. of Hatboro, Pa.

4. "Bucky Bleepin Dent" by Alex V. of Cary, N.C.

3. "Miss Remembered" by Chris F. of Chandler, Ariz. and by Steve C. of Brighton, Mass.

2. "Goodell Riddance" by Rich K. of San Juan Capistrano, Calif.

1. "No Knives 4 Wives" by Phil H. of Fort Worth, Texas.

There you have it, but we can't stop quite yet. There were many more that you might have easily liked more than the ones chosen, so we are adding a few more honorable mentions that just missed:

• "Dodgers' Debt" by Chris H. of Pickerington, Ohio.

• "UncleMo&AuntLess" by Jack F. of Falls Church, Va.

• "SteroidsWithBarry" by John from Parts Unknown.

• "TuribleKnucklehead" by Brian K. of Blacksburg, Va.

• "Buckeye Blackeye" by Jay M. of Hamilton, Ohio.

• "LordStanleysKiss" by Matthew W. of Fort Collins, Colo.

And many, many more.

So we thank everyone who played. And, trust us, no matter who wins the Kentucky Derby, the name won't be any better than what you just read here.

Well, if Pants On Fire does win, that's going to create some amusing headlines.

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