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Editor's note: There's a statue of Jason White at Oklahoma. There's a statue of Danny Wuerffel at Florida. The Phillie Phanatic was feted with no fewer than 20 statues last year in Philadelphia -- and he hasn't even won a Heisman Trophy! If these guys have their own statues, something must be done to honor more deserving sports figures whose artistic immortalization is long overdue. So each Monday, Page 2 will proudly unveil its Fictional Sports Statue of the Week.
Location: Los Angeles International Airport.
Design Inspiration(s): The Amelia Earhart statues located in North Hollywood, Calif., and at Purdue University in West Lafayette, Ind., in a nod to aviation history; the John Wayne statue at John Wayne Airport in Santa Ana, Calif.; in a nod to airline industry swagger.
Trans American Airlines
Legendary aviator served with dedication and valor -- except in rare cases of scombroid food poisoning. NBA's career scoring leader with 38,387 points. Never referred to colleagues as "Shirley," except in cases in which that was their actual name. Won five NBA championships with Los Angeles Lakers. Has seen grown men naked. Won three NCAA championships at UCLA. Never picked wrong week to quit amphetamines. Led the Milwaukee Bucks to a world championship. Never been in a Turkish prison. Owns more championship rings than Mark Madsen and Adam Morrison combined. Nineteen-time NBA All-Star. Dragged Walton and Lanier up and down the court for 48 minutes. Six-time NBA MVP. Former Los Angeles Clippers assistant coach. Speaks jive fluently.
Text by Thomas Neumann.
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