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Editor's note: There's a statue of Jason White at Oklahoma. There's a statue of Danny Wuerffel at Florida. The Phillie Phanatic was feted with no fewer than 20 statues last year in Philadelphia -- and he hasn't even won a Heisman Trophy! If these guys have their own statues, something must be done to honor more deserving sports figures whose artistic immortalization is long overdue. So each Monday, Page 2 will proudly unveil its Fictional Sports Statue of the Week.
Location: The entrance to Heatster Island Theme Park (amusement complex to be constructed in Fall 2011 in Miami).
Design Inspiration(s): The Moai statues on Easter Island.
LeBron James, Erik Spoelstra, Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade
Welcome to Heatster Island! These monuments serve to honor the 2011, 2012*, 2013, 2014, 2015 and 2016 NBA champions.
Be sure to take your talents to these featured Heatster Island attractions:
King James' Virtual Akron Extravaganza (in 3-D) Bosh's Bumper Cars (must be 80 inches tall to ride) Pat Riley's Haberdashery and Hair Salon Juwan Howard's Early Bird Buffet Mike Bibby's Wild Coattail Ride Zydrunas Ilgauskas' Borscht Bar Stan Van Gundy's Family Zone DJ Rony Seikaly's House of Techno Harold Miner's Baby Boutique Tim Hardaway's 110-mph Causeway Go-Kart Race Heat headwear of all styles, sizes available at Michael Beasley's Cap Space Darko Milicic's Draft Haus.
Save the date: Make sure to be at Heatster Island on July 15, 2018, for our "Welcome to Miami, Kyrie Irving!" parade and celebration gala.
* Even if the 2011-12 season is canceled due to lockout, we all know the Heat would've won the title, anyway.
Text by Thomas Neumann.
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