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Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Aggies lead Bottom 10 wolf pack

By Mark Schlabach

WEEK: Preseason | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13

The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:

Alan: Hey, everybody, here's some fun facts: The population of Thailand is 63 million people. It is twice the size of Wyoming. Its chief exports are textiles, footwear and rice. Each year, approximately 13,000 people are killed in car accidents in Thailand. The climate in Thailand …

Doug: Alan, why don't you skip to the last card?

Alan: None of you know Stu like I do. Not you. Not you. Not you. Not nobody knows Stu like I do. I can't even tell you what we've been through because we made a pact, more important than blood. What I can tell you is this: This is not Stu's first marriage.

-- "The Hangover Part II," Zach Galifianakis and Justin Bartha

This isn't Texas A&M's first marriage.

And Lord knows the Aggies have had a helluva hangover the last two weeks.

After four games, Texas A&M might feel like a bit of a loner this season, as it plays its last season in the Big 12 before moving to the SEC in 2012. At least the Aggies know there will always be room for them in the Bottom 10's wolf pack of woebegone programs.

A week after blowing a 17-point lead in the second half of a 30-29 loss to Oklahoma State, the Aggies did it again against Arkansas at Jerry's World on Saturday. After taking a 35-17 lead at the half over the Hogs at Cowboys Stadium, the Aggies managed only a field goal in the second half of a 42-38 loss.

"We'll have some heart-to-hearts this week, particularly on Monday, about which direction we're going to go and make sure that what happened today doesn't happen again," Texas A&M coach Mike Sherman said after the Aggies' second straight deflating loss.

Here's hoping Sherman didn't deliver the same speech the week before. The Aggies' back-to-back collapses earned them the not-so-coveted No. 5 spot in this week's Bottom 10.

With apologies to Steve Harvey and Zach Galifianakis, here's this week's Bottom 10:'s Bottom 10
1. New Mexico 0-5 "It's Kind of a Funny Story": The end of the Mike Locksley era at New Mexico was kind of tragically funny -- unless, of course, your name is Mike Locksley. The George Barlow era started with a 42-28 loss to rival New Mexico State.
2. Western Kentucky 0-4 "Bored to Death": Western Kentucky fans had to be bored to death watching the Hilltoppers lose their 18th consecutive home game, 26-22 to Arkansas State on Saturday. At least WKU plays away from home this week, at Middle Tennessee State on Thursday night.
3. Akron 1-4 "Frenemy": Remember when Eastern Michigan looked like a warm, fuzzy pushover? Not anymore. The Zips fell behind the Eagles 14-0 early in the second quarter and never recovered in a 31-23 loss in Ypsilanti, Mich.
4. Miami (Ohio) 0-4 "Flushed": The RedHawks would probably prefer to flush their offense after last week's 27-0 loss to Cincinnati. They had 105 yards in penalties, two turnovers and minus-3 rushing yards.
5. Texas A&M 2-2 "Little Fish, Strange Pond": At least the Aggies know life will be easier in the SEC, right? Texas A&M's loss to Arkansas dropped its record to 0-7 against SEC foes since 1996.
6. Memphis 1-4 "Puss In Boots": That might not be a fair description of the Tigers after they showed a little backbone in last week's 38-31 loss at Middle Tennessee State. But if Memphis plays its cards right, it may trick Rice into believing the Tigers are a tough opponent.
7. UAB 0-4 "Gigantic": The Blazers nearly notched their first victory of the season, but they blew a 23-14 lead in the fourth quarter of a 24-23 loss at Troy. This week's challenge is indeed gigantic: UAB hosts Mississippi State at Legion Field in Birmingham, Ala.
8. Florida Atlantic 0-4 "Dinner for Schmucks": The Owls, who fell to 0-4 after last week's 37-34 loss at Louisiana-Lafayette, play at North Texas on Saturday night in college football's version of "Dinner for Schmucks," otherwise known as the Pillow Fight of the Week.
9. Minnesota 1-4 "The Pity Card": With everything that's happened to Minnesota this season, it's hard not to feel sorry for the Gophers. Maybe they'll find a little relief in Saturday's trip to Purdue.
10. UNLV 1-3 "What Happens in Vegas": Unfortunately, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. The Rebels have had two weeks to stew over their inexplicable 41-16 loss to FCS foe Southern Utah on Sept. 24. They'll try to take out their frustrations on rival Nevada in Reno on Saturday night.

Waiting list: Boston College (1-4), Buffalo (1-4), Georgia's Speed Racer, Idaho (1-4), Indiana (1-4), Kent State (1-4), Kneeing at Illinois, Louisiana-Monroe (1-3), Louisiana Tech (1-4), "Marking" your territory between the hedges, North Texas (1-4), Not-so-excessive celebrations at Navy, Ohio State's internal investigations (guaranteed in 30 days or less), Oregon State (0-4), Rice (1-3), SMU/TCU mixers, South Carolina's beardless quarterback, Utah State's two-minute drill.

Mark Schlabach covers college football for