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Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Hey, Raiders: Hold up on that Carson Palmer deal!


Carson Palmer
Carson Palmer holds up a finger for each first-round pick the Raiders are reportedly offering for him.

Dear Raiders -- Please read this ASAP. It will save you.

According to reports, you are about to trade two future first-round draft picks for Carson Palmer. Unfortunately, Palmer is not good. So you can probably now see the issue here.

Not only are you about to throw away the future of your organization for a wild-card run -- a doomed wild-card run with Palmer as your quarterback -- but you are going to make Cincinnati Bengals management look competent. Who knows what life-altering dominos that could topple. Yet, with Jason Campbell injured and Kyle Boller uninjured, you probably feel that you still need a quarterback. Here are some far superior options to Mr. Palmer:

1. Brett Favre -- Favre was terrible last year. But was he much worse than Palmer? No. Plus, you don't need to give up two first-round draft picks for him. And Favre has years of experience showing up to play with no preparation. You'll be getting a rusty Carson Palmer. That sounds like a bad term on Urban Dictionary and an even worse quarterback.

2. David Garrard -- Garrard played much better than Carson Palmer last year and he's another quarterback you wouldn't have to give up draft picks to get. Granted, he just announced that he's having back surgery. Garrard says he has "lost a lot of feeling in my lower left leg and even my left foot has gone dead on me." So what? He'll still be more mobile than Palmer.

3. Jeff George -- He hasn't played since 2001, but up until a few years ago, he was still keeping himself in shape in hopes an NFL team would come calling. Would it be a risk to sign a 43-year-old quarterback? Sure. Does George have a history of making bad decisions? Yes. But no quarterback has ever made a decision worse than this one.

4. Art Schlichter -- If anyone would play hard for a six-figure contract, it's this guy. The one sticking point is that you'd need to persuade his prison warden to loan him out on a work release program, because he's currently serving a 10-year prison sentence. But trading two first-rounders for Carson Palmer could be called a 10-year losing sentence. So it's your call.

5. JaMarcus Russell -- OK. Fine. JaMarcus Russell is terrible. Am I including him in this list as hyperbole to prove a point? Ye ... ah, I honestly don't know. That's the state of 2011 Carson Palmer. At least give Russell a look. Even if he's not a better option and you still acquire Palmer, you'll need a lot of purple drank to get through the season.