|ESPN.com: Commentary||[Print without images]|
Future Hall of Fame manager Tony La Russa shocked the baseball world by announcing his retirement Monday, just days after leading the St. Louis Cardinals to a World Series win. Twitter was abuzz with the news as people debated the timing of his announcement. Was it the right move to go out on top, or should he have stuck around for a few more years to milk some more wins from a talented St. Louis team? Would he be back to manage again one day, or was Friday's victory really his last? How would his announcement affect Albert Pujols' future with the Cardinals?
Sportswriters began furiously composing tributes to La Russa's career and stories about the future of the Cardinals without him.
Alas, just a few short hours after La Russa's farewell presser, he was all but forgotten on Twitter and in the world of sports blogs. Despite his 33 years managing, 2,728 victories, four Manager of the Year awards and three World Series titles, La Russa's retirement paled in comparison to the REAL sports story of the day: An underachieving NBA player and an over-publicized Hollywood "star" were filing for divorced after just 72 days of "marriage."
It's hard to believe, but the supposed fairytale romance of Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries has gone sour already. It's been just a few months since their August wedding, barely long enough for over-the-top gifts (A $730 ice bucket? An $840 ashtray?) to be unwrapped and thank-you cards mailed. Just a few weeks ago E! aired their two-part wedding special and in a few more weeks the cable network will debut "Kourtney & Kim Take New York," a series focused on the love lives and business endeavors of the elder two Kardashian sisters.
Who could have guessed that editing and airing footage of Kardashian and Humphries' first months of marriage would take longer than the marriage itself?
K & K dated for just six months before tying the knot in a lavish affair that reportedly cost upward of $10 million and earned the couple almost double that in photo and TV rights. "Love" left them as quickly as it came, but the money remains -- roughly $125,000 each for each day of their marriage. All told, Humphries, a free agent most recently with the Nets, reportedly earned about $9 million for his part in the wedding, more than half of his earnings over a six-year NBA career.
With the lockout dragging on (it's already lasted 51 days longer than the marriage) Humphries may need that cash. After all, without Kardashian he's just another unemployed basketball player. Without Kardashian, sportswriters (yours truly, included) wouldn't be scrambling to write about his failed romance. Or should I say fabled romance?
Today's tabloid-powered world is ruled by reality stars who are famous simply for being famous. Never mind that Kardashian doesn't have a talented bone in her body, or that Humphries is a mediocre basketball player averaging just more than five points a game in a thus-far wholly unimpressive career. The two of them together are gold. And now, it appears, the two of them apart are gold, too.
Tony, we're all sorry your big day was overshadowed, but surely you understand. Three World Series rings can't possibly compete with the sparkle of one 20.5-carat engagement ring (most likely paid for by the bride herself). In this day and age hard work takes too long. If you really wanna make a splash, you gotta sell your soul -- and the rights to your sex tape -- to the highest bidder.