Print and Go Back ESPN.com: Sprint Cup [Print without images]

Friday, February 17, 2012
Racebook: What they should be typing

By Marty Smith
ESPN.com

Status updates from NASCAR's finest, as interpreted by ESPN.com's Marty Smith.

The opinions expressed are solely those of the writer.

Tony Stewart: Thanks to Tim Allen and everyone at "Last Man Standing" for having me on the show. I couldn't help but ask him what it was like to work with Eddie Gossage on "Home Improvement."

Carl Edwards
Carl Edwards knows how to get his point -- and sponsors -- across.

Carl Edwards: After I lost the championship, I thought long and hard about pulling out my Sprint Samsung Galaxy 2 cell phone to call Dr. Phil. (Did you know you can see the person you're talking to on that thing?) I thought about UPSing myself to L.A., but I just pulled out my mountain bike and rode across the country to see him instead. Fortunately there were plenty of Subways along the way.

Kevin Harvick: Shopping at Baby Gap with DeLana. … Saw Mother Function's entire spring wardrobe. #Schmedium

Matt Kenseth: Diaper Duty … Or is it Diaper Doo-dy … Haha … Go Packers.

Brad Keselowski: When a guy hollers "Break a leg!" at you, listen to him.

Jimmie Johnson: Watched some guy lose $1.5 million at the craps table in Vegas. Thought to myself: Now he knows how I felt at Martinsville.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Dear friends: answering EVERY question with "You and me both, Junior," is not funny.

Jeff Gordon: BREAKIN' IS ON TBS!!!!! "Come on sucka, right now!"

Denny Hamlin: My boy MJ is getting married again. Reception at Butter!

Ryan Newman: Excited about Outback Steakhouse deal. I hope they let me record a Christmas album like Dale Jarrett and John Madden did.

Kurt Busch: Just found out my Daytona 500 car is the one Brad K won Dega in. Note to self: No two-car draft with Carl Edwards.

Kyle Busch: That naked M&M from the Super Bowl inspires me to come out of my shell this year.

Kasey Kahne: I'm such a boob sometimes.

Marty Smith is a contributor to ESPN's NASCAR coverage. He can be reached at ESPNsider@aol.com. Follow Marty on twitter at @MartySmithESPN