A short, personal message to Mr. Peyton Manning:
"Dear Peyton -- Pick whomever you like. But please make it quick."
Signed: "By everybody except the New Orleans Saints, who now refer to you as 'The Great Distraction.'"
Reportedly 12 NFL teams have reached out to the man now known as "The Greatest Free Agent of All Time," although Reggie White was pretty good. However, unless NFL Commish Roger Goodell pulls a David Stern-type imaginative move, only one team can have him.
Denver? Arizona? Everyone seems to call them the favorites because they were his first two stops in the Great Free Agent Tour. He arrived at the Cardinals camp in the passenger seat of a white SUV driven by Coach Ken Whisenhunt. Too bad it wasn't a white Bronco, because we would have had a field day with that.
But it's not over. Manning has a home in Miami, and if he visits the Dolphins, they'll probably be considered the new favorite. Then there are the other nine suitors, whomever they may be. (Is there a "The Bachelor" spinoff here?)
Again, there can be just one winner. And every team competing has pessimistic fans that absolutely know he won't sign with their team. Pessimists are nothing more than optimists spoiled by repeated failure. And we are reaching out to the pessimists this week for our reader-generated list: "Top 10 Reasons My Team Won't Or Didn't Land Peyton."
Hey, New York Jets fans, this one is a natural for you.
Send your sarcastic and, hopefully, funny reasons to email@example.com -- and you must include your first name, initial of your last name and your location. Your deadline is noon Wednesday for the list that will appear here Thursday even if we already know what team got the red rose from Peyton by then.
Can't be quick enough (although the Saints are probably advising him to take all the time he needs).