Print and Go Back ESPN.com: Page 2 [Print without images]

Thursday, April 12, 2012
Mark Buerhle injury inspires some first aid advice


By now, everyone's had a good laugh/cringe at how Marlins left-hander Mark Buehrle cut the thumb on his throwing hand opening a jar of mayonnaise while trying to make a sandwich before his start last week.

Mark Buehrle
It's OK, Mark. Just put a (bacon) Band-Aid on it.

Well, if it happened to one major-leaguer, it can happen again. So clubhouses, be prepared -- either have the right medical equipment on hand, turn this into a marketing partnership, or both.

Commissioner Selig, now is the time to step up and insist that all future sandwich-related injuries be treated using "Bacon Strips Adhesive Bandages." Available on Amazon.com, or just about anywhere else on the Internet where you can find medical advice. (Disclaimer: Page 2 is prohibited from dispensing medical advice by the American Medical Association, the Centers For Disease Control and anyone who's had to make use of your mom's Band-Aid drawer).

So, Buehrle, good luck with your next jar of mayo and/or your next bacon bandage. Speaking of mayo and bacon, have you tried Baconnaise? Though as a professional athlete watching his diet, you'd probably want to reach for Baconnaise Lite.