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|Peyton! Peyton! No, not that Peyton. Peyton Hillis. The Giants RB made his debut after signing with the team last week.|
Did you fall asleep immediately after watching three minutes of the nightmare-inducing Vikings-Giants tilt, or did you just skip sports entirely to watch "The Voice"? Have no fear, we've got you covered. Here's everything, In Case You Missed It on Monday night:
The New York Giants won their first game of the season Monday night as they held off a lowly Minnesota Vikings squad in one of the ugliest and least-compelling Monday Night Football matchups in recent memory. Perhaps fittingly, Big Blue was led by an unlikely hero -- newly signed running back Peyton Hillis. That likely wasn't the Peyton you were guessing would have a good Week 7.
If you watched the broadcast, you know Hillis was a volunteer high school coach just 10 days ago. If you didn't watch the broadcast, Hillis was a volunteer high school coach just 10 days ago. It was mentioned about 100 times last night. But don't blame ESPN's Mike Tirico or Jon Gruden for the redundancy. They weren't left with many positives to talk about.
Quarterback Josh Freeman made his highly publicized debut for the Vikings. On the plus side, it probably made Vikings fans appreciate Christian Ponder. On the not-so-plus side, the Vikings' best quarterback is Christian Ponder. Freeman completed just 20 of 53 passes for 37.7 percent -- or, in non-math terms, realllllly bad. Unless the Minnesota playbook instructs its QB to throw the ball past its receivers, it was pretty clear the former Bucs QB wasn't familiar with the team's offensive strategy.
SportsNation may have summed up Freeman's struggles best on Twitter:
Josh Freeman is having a ROUGH night » pic.twitter.com/8phUiQBwoA— SportsNation (@SportsNation) October 22, 2013
The San Francisco Giants' season may be over, but AT&T Park may have had its biggest night of the year on Monday. America's favorite leather jogging pants inventor Kanye West proposed to girlfriend Kim Kardashian in the most elaborate and expensive (read: gaudy) way.
West rented out the stadium and hired an orchestra to play songs from Lana Del Ray and -- you guessed it -- Yeezus himself. As Kardashian walked into the stadium, she was greeted with fireworks, candles, music and "PLEASE MARRY MEEE!!!" on the Jumbotron.
While this doesn't sound like a question to me, Kardashian still said yes and, somewhere across the pond, Kate Middleton rolled her eyes. After accepting, Kardashian's entire family, stylists and other paid members of the entourage ran out of the dugout to celebrate, and most likely reenacted the scene several times until it was properly captured for "Keeping Up With the Kardashians." (Was Bruce there?!)
Here's hoping this marriage lasts longer than 72 days.
Arsenio Hall has a late-night talk show again. Have you not seen an episode yet? It's shockingly on every night. Well, to give you an idea ... last week, Hall bet rapper Nelly that his Los Angeles Dodgers would beat the St. Louis Cardinals in the NLCS. The Dodgers obviously lost so Hall was forced to perform Nelly's "Country Grammar" while wearing a Cardinals jersey on last night's show. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa, what?
Toronto Raptors forward Tyler Hansbrough was decidedly not happy after getting tied up with a member of the New York Knicks during Monday's preseason game. He seemingly looked ready to fight ... until he turned around and saw the player was Metta World Peace. Dun, dun, duuuuun!
With a look of horror film-esque fear on his face, Psycho T immediately backed down and visibly said, "My bad, my bad" to the apparently furious World Peace. And can you blame him? He's probably seen clips of "Malice at the Palace" as many times as the rest of us. Apologizing and walking away was the smartest decision of Hansbrough's career.
Never one to leave things alone, World Peace commented on Twitter after the game. Was this intended as sarcasm? Something else? You be the judge:
Tyler Hansbrough, dont listen to these fools. Keep being s hard nose ball player!!!— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) October 22, 2013