Remember last year when we went to Scotland? That was fun. We got to play golf at the Old Course. I left with a 114 on my scorecard and a really expensive wind breaker. Also, I saved a man's life. But you know that.
The real reason for the trip to Scotland was to cover the Highland Games. Big dudes who pick up and throw heavy stuff. Nice guys. One of them forced me to drink scotch until 2 a.m. I didn't inhale.
Different vibe in Hayward, Wis., and the sweatshirt I purchased was nothing like the wind breaker gouging at the Old Course.
In Hayward, we watched men and women chop and saw through logs, climb poles and dump each other in a murky pond in a logrolling competition. A girl named Shana Martin rolled me into the water about a half dozen times. We put this in the story to allow for "reporter participation" because there was no chance I was going to be allowed to use the hot saw. The best of the best make three cuts through a giant log in about six seconds. That's roughly twice the time it would have taken me to saw my leg off. Safety first, I stayed away from the hot saw and watched in awe.
I do make my own kindling at home. I chop down logs into smaller pieces to start fires. I feel like a man when I do that. I also take out the garbage. That's about it as far as real man stuff. I don't know how my car works. Hell, I don't know how the Internet or television works. I do know other people who are hip to all the technology. They have pushed the right buttons to get the World Lumberjack Championships into a viewable format. Feeling pretty good about this story. It's the celebration of wood and woodsmen and woodswomen.
And less expensive articles of clothing.