As the Games go into their second weekend, the suits keep trying to ruin the fun. The Mag's Anne Marie Cruz is Nott amused.

Will the IOC never, ever learn? Bureaucrats are not athletes. Over 400,000 salivating fans didn't trample Olympic Park yesterday to see suits make self-important decisions. And yet --

Another Bulgarian flunked another drug test. This time, she happened to be the women's 48-kg weightlifting gold medalist.

Overheard

"He doesn't jump high enough!"

—A Canadian swimmer playing Frogger on a handheld while watching her teammates compete

Said the IOC: You are stripped of your medal. Get outta town, dirty cheat. Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

No arguing with that. Now -- what to do about those pesky other medalists, like American Tara Nott, who thought she'd won the silver?

Said the IOC: Congratulations, Tara. You're our next gold medalist, come on down.

Woo-hoo! Yay! How fun is that? Get your cameras and Kleenex ready, Mom and Dad, because the medal ceremony is -- in the Athletes Village, where you, uh, aren't allowed, and at 4 p.m., exactly when my teammate, Cheryl "Fun" Haworth, lifts in her first Olympic competition, which I've promised to watch, no matter what.

Hey, wait a minute. Mr. and Mrs. IOC, sirs, madams, let's think this one through carefully. What kind of medal ceremony excludes the winner's parents and, well, the winner?

Said the IOC: I'm sorry, were we talking to you? The gold medal ceremony will be held when we damn well say we'll hold it.

So at 4 p.m. yesterday afternoon in the Olympic Village, the IOC readied to raise the star-spangled banner to honor an empty gold-medal podium. Across the way, in Darling Harbor, Fun earned her bronze, knowing that Tara was cheering in the audience, forever missing out on her own moment of glory.

Anne Marie Cruz covers the Olympics for ESPN The Magazine. Check back regularly for more of her Postcards from Sydney.