Stick to Sportswriting, Genius

I'm still stunned by the Oscar nominations. "Leatherheads"—which I co-wrote with Duncan Brantley—garnered no nominations! None! Not even costumes? Visual effects? We made 400 extras look like 30,000! Ah, well. Having said that, I'm rooting for Eric Roth to win Best Adapted Screenplay for "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" for one very simple reason: Roth lost massive amounts of his fortune to that hairball Bernie Madoff. "I'm the biggest sucker who ever walked the face of the Earth," he told the Los Angeles Times. Which is saying something, since he's the guy who wrote "Forrest Gump."

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