Too Short For A Column

One last puppet commercial:

KOBE PUPPET (entering the apartment): LeBron! Hey, LeBron! What's up? LeBron? Where are you?

(Kobe puppet looks behind couches, tables, into cupboards. Nothing.)

KOBE PUPPET: C'mon, dude! Don't mess with me! Let's get somethin' to eat!

(Enters bedroom. Notices all of LeBron's stuff is missing, drawers empty, closets cleaned out.)

KOBE PUPPET: He left without saying goodbye? Or even a handshake?

(He sees a note, which reads: I hope you choke in 4!)

KOBE PUPPET: What a dummy.